Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
We have involved with the entertainers and athletes hero in our daily life. Many of entertainers and athletes are playing role models for many people specially young man and women. Some people like to know more about details of their here's lifestyle even their small private life, while some disagree with this. In my point of view, the athletes and the entertainers should keep their privacy and private life away of public for a few reasons.
First, the entertainers and athletes are normal people that they progress in one or more aspects of their life. They have attempt to improve their abilities or talents in some direction. This aspect of their personalities attract people, and of course, it is acknowledged by many of their fun. In this case, the other aspects of their life are not much different with ordinary people. Exaggeration of the athletes life may have bad effect on their life. For instance, I read an article about a famous athlete in my country which has a lot of follower. He has made a good private environment for himself. He believes that they deserve privacy like as other people. Based on this belief he act so original without any show off. He avers that this chance helped him to know himself better and tries to make a better personality and behave such that people admire along his life time.
Second, privacy of the role models in each society should be considered as personal things. If this privacy destroyed for example by news agency and their reporters, it may has bad effect on their personal life and their follower behave and identity. Last year, a news reporter published some personal news about one of the famous actress.Some propaganda exaggerate that news and it goes bigger. At the end the worst fake story that could be make up, spread in the internet and get viral. This singer faced many problem in her personal life. Some young people bother her and her family in the social media and she lost his reputation. After several months she spoke about the real story but her family got upset for a long time.
In sum, the athletes and entertainers need personal privacy. They had a professional life beside personal family which both of them should be considered important for society. The newspaper should not steak their nose in personal life of athletes or entertainers.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e away of public for a few reasons. First, the entertainers and athletes are...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 129, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'attempted'.
Suggestion: attempted
...r more aspects of their life. They have attempt to improve their abilities or talents i...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 412, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'athletes'' or 'athlete's'?
Suggestion: athletes'; athlete's
...th ordinary people. Exaggeration of the athletes life may have bad effect on their life....
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 540, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun follower seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of followers'.
Suggestion: a lot of followers
... famous athlete in my country which has a lot of follower. He has made a good private environment...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 695, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'acts'.
Suggestion: acts
...s other people. Based on this belief he act so original without any show off. He av...
^^^
Line 3, column 877, Rule ID: LIFE_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'lifetime'?
Suggestion: lifetime
...ehave such that people admire along his life time. Second, privacy of the role mo...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t people admire along his life time. Second, privacy of the role models in ea...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Some
...al news about one of the famous actress.Some propaganda exaggerate that news and it ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 361, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'exaggerates'.
Suggestion: exaggerates
...e of the famous actress.Some propaganda exaggerate that news and it goes bigger. At the en...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 513, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: 'many problems'.
Suggestion: many problems
...ternet and get viral. This singer faced many problem in her personal life. Some young people...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 717, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the real story but her family got upset for a long time. In sum, the athlet...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her family got upset for a long time. In sum, the athletes and entertainers ne...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, so, while, for example, for instance, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1928.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47143177126 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5075 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.5106709475 48.9658058833 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.3333333333 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6666666667 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.16666666667 5.45110844103 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.139508510262 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0490770937486 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0497877368326 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0950505867692 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0453499238409 0.0645574589148 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.31 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.