Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is universally acknowledged that television programs occupy a considerable time of our time, thus the famous entertainers and athletes play a key role in our society. Therefore, there is a hot debate about whether it is better to provide a very secure place for celebrities or not. However, I personally subscribe to this view that famous people deserve a secure life mainly because the growth of population decreases the security in the societies, and also they are the symbolic mark of societies, so they should possess a different life. In-depth discussion on each of the abovementioned reasons is presented below.

First and possibly the most important reason why I believe that dignitary people deserve to have more private life is that with the advancement of countries, the number of criminal issues is increasing, so they should have much more secure life. In fact, nowadays, most celebrities belong to specific political branch, and this issue initiates more opposition with them because the political issues affect negatively people's lives, and also most famous people evoke people to join their favorite group. My own experience is also a compelling example of this. Ahmet Kaya, the famous singer who lived in Turkey (1955-2005), was one of the determined proponents of the separation law of Kurdish region from Turkey. This obvious support had disruptive effects on his personality life. Finally, he was killed by one of his opposing groups. For this reason, I strongly believe that famous people should possess a very secure life.

There is a further subtle word we must consider, which is the fact that well-known people are the symbol of every society, thus they should live in a separated group. In fact, the manner of famous people influences strongly the life of moderate people. According to the reliable statistics which is carried out in our country, 80% of people follow daily the news that is related to celebrities. As a result, if celebrities demonstrate their life positively and attractively, people will able to enjoy celebrities' life and they become more motivated to hard work to achieve their same goals. Accordingly, I think that celebrities' life can affect our lives positively, so they deserve to have more privacy than they have now.

In a word, by taking all the aforementioned reasons into account we may draw the conclusion that people have to provide an appropriate and secure life for celebrities.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 618, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...r same goals. Accordingly, I think that celebrities life can affect our lives positively, s...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, finally, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, well, i think, in fact, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2051.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 399.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14035087719 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83089779473 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541353383459 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 665.1 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.8722156066 48.9658058833 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.647058824 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4705882353 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.41176470588 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203045479266 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0629037324344 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0713558313448 0.0737576698707 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118446550933 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0374620157754 0.0645574589148 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.