Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no doubt that the teenage times contribute crucial roll in chidren's characteristics and personalities. No one can repudiate its significance. In this regard some people hold the view that parents need to prepare them by giving their kids some major responsibilities such as part-time job. However, in my viewpoint it is not the best way of fostering kids, and I totally disagree with the statement. I have numerous reasons why I do not share this opinion elaborating cogently in the ensuing paragraphs.
First of all, one should take into account this significant fact that the most pivotal matter for the kids in their teenage era is the education. In this regard, parents should carefully pay attention that having a career would distract them from the school. In other words, I believe the more time teenagers spend in part-time job, the less focus they have in the school. The latest sociologists findings also approved this claim. According to one recent sociology research, the teenagers who work in the restaurants, or shopping males as a part-time employee, would face a critical decrease in their school's grade. Thus, they have less chance in order to enter collages. As a result, this paper suggests that parents shouldn't let their kids work during the school time.
In approaching this issue, apart from the fact mentioned above, one should consider subtle point meticulously that teenagers need to spend leisure time with their friends. If they hang out their free time in the work environments, they probably loose their friends and they would be secluded in the future. Psychologically speaking, teenagers have to fulfill their time with people who are as the same age as they are. They should able to interact with other teenagers, because this era is a crucial period in shaping one's eccentricity. If they spend time with persons who are older than them in the work places, they probably wouldn't to get along with their friends in school. As a consequences, they are pushed to contact with older people which have destructive impacts on their personality.
Taking all aforementioned arguments into account leads us to this distinct conclusion that we should contemplate about teenagers life more . Because as I have explained, having part-time job could have adverse affects on teenagers life. They probably distract from their school, and they loose their friend and become isolated from the teenager's world. In nutshell, there are multiplicity of other factors supplementing aforementioned reasons, which could be alluded, but are not embraced due to the dearth of time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...esult, this paper suggests that parents shouldnt let their kids work during the school t...
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Line 5, column 247, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...in the work environments, they probably loose their friends and they would be seclude...
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Line 5, column 520, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...this era is a crucial period in shaping ones eccentricity. If they spend time with p...
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Line 5, column 629, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... them in the work places, they probably wouldnt to get along with their friends in scho...
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Line 5, column 683, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a consequence' or simply 'consequences'?
Suggestion: a consequence; consequences
... along with their friends in school. As a consequences, they are pushed to contact with older ...
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Line 7, column 140, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ld contemplate about teenagers life more . Because as I have explained, having par...
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Line 7, column 223, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'teenagers'' or 'teenager's'?
Suggestion: teenagers'; teenager's
...-time job could have adverse affects on teenagers life. They probably distract from their...
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Line 7, column 290, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...ly distract from their school, and they loose their friend and become isolated from t...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, thus, apart from, no doubt, such as, as a result, first of all, in my view, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2186.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16784869976 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81625402128 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.531914893617 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 658.8 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.156115817 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.3636363636 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2272727273 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68181818182 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249885715304 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0784665228582 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0416541678419 0.0737576698707 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169646520989 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0432850753251 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.