Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Without a shadow of doubt, famous people's life style draw many people's attention for, they are always under the magnifying glass. In this regard, different groups of people are more or less willing to know about their opinion about various subjects. In my view, the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more interesting to younger people rather than older people for couple of reasons, among which the youngster’s demand for a perfect role model and being the prime target of the fashion industry’s intention are the most essential.
First and foremost, young people's need for finding an appropriate role model in their life leads them to go after the most famous people in the society, celebrities. During those young ages, teenagers usually have a feeling of confusion and they have a strong desire to imitate some successful, appealing and well-known person to gain other's attention. Undoubtedly, celebrities as one of the most accepted and attractive members of the society, are at the top of teenagers’ list. Teenagers see the whole society, especially their friends, paying attention to every single move by celebrities. Hence, they think that if they pursue these famous people, they would gain that popularity and acceptance among people. In addition, when young people see their friends pursue the events relevant to celebrities, they just want to keep up with the flow in order not to be left behind. Older people on the other hand, do not deal with these issues since, they have already reached a high level of self-cognizance. Thus, they do not feel that they should follow celebrities for the sake of getting others' attention.
Having discussed the issue from the previous point of view, I would rather look at it from another perspective. Young people are more likely to be targeted by some invisible hands behind the scene. Fashion industry seeks to attract its customers and it reaches this goal by the means of mass media, because mass media has the most determining effect in popularizing celebrities. Therefore, celebrities pave the way for the success of fashion industry by attracting more and more people, and trying to persuade them to mimic their life style. Since the majority of the mass media's audience consists of young people, they are more exposed to this intelligent plan. In contrary, older people usually do not have that time and energy to follow celebrities and famous people. So they are less likely to pay attention to celebrities’ affairs.
Taking all above-mentioned arguments into consideration, it can be concluded that young people care more about celebrities. They not only do find famous people as the best option to help them gain acceptance in society, but also are targeted by fashion industry to be attracted to their business.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 888, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Older) must be used with a third-person verb: 'peoples'.
Suggestion: peoples
...w in order not to be left behind. Older people on the other hand, do not deal with the...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, look, so, therefore, thus, well, in addition, such as, in my view, more or less, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2376.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 461.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15401301518 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83644105642 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520607375271 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 733.5 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.5131174089 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.8 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.05 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255814957728 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0815399873239 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0576373676969 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164822055715 0.150856017488 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0401897324945 0.0645574589148 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.