Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, the effect of the opinions of celebrities has become one of the top concerns of modern citizens. And there is a widespread speaking that the opinion of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. As far as I am concerned, I think it is proper to say so.
First of all, young people are easier affected by others. Since they have not much experience of social life, young people are more ingenuous and will be prone to drift with the current. This argument will serve me better if we consider the example of my cousin Jim. My cousin Jim is a freshman in Peking University, and has been a fan of Yao Ming longtime ago. As you know, Yao Ming is a famous and excellent basketball player with professional skills. Once in a ceremony, Yao Ming gave a speech of diligence. He said when he went to Huston Rocket as a freshman in NBA, he felt pride but also had much pressure .It was his belief that only diligent people deserve success, which supported him keep practicing everyday. After that speech,My cousin write down his idol's words "only diligent people deserve success" in the cover of his diary, and study more diligently. Finally, my cousin becames a freshman in Peking University. In contrast, old people are more solid and will not change their mind easily. For example, my grandparent like listening to the radio, her favorite presenter is Mr. Green. One day in breakfast time, we listened to the program of Mr. Green together, Mr.Green was talking about the finance management. In Mr.Green opinion, It was a good idea to buy house than deposit money into the bank. However, my grandparent did not think so, he consist invest was dangerous. So you can see the opinion of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Besides, younger people will be much easier trust in celebrities. Since they have much more passion about sports or entertainment, celebrities in these fields are appealing to younger people, especially to their fans. My personal experience could well be used to attest to this argument. In my 20, i had a favorite singer, Mike, who is also popular among my friends.We were crazy about him, and we kept focusing on him. We began to follow him everything such as wearing what he wore, listening what he favorite songs, and watching his favorite movies. Therefore, when he was accused for drugs problem, i still believed that he was innocent, since he had said that drugs were definitely dangerous and disgusting things.In contrast, old people are more cautious about celebrities words since they are more calm about the sports or entertainment.
In conclusion, since younger people are easier affected by others and trust in celebrities, the opinions of celebrities such as entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to old people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 536, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ch of diligence. He said when he went to Huston Rocket as a freshman in NBA, he f...
^^
Line 3, column 614, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...he felt pride but also had much pressure .It was his belief that only diligent peo...
^^
Line 3, column 616, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
... felt pride but also had much pressure .It was his belief that only diligent peopl...
^^
Line 3, column 713, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...ss, which supported him keep practicing everyday. After that speech,My cousin write down...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 740, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , My
...p practicing everyday. After that speech,My cousin write down his idols words &apos...
^^^
Line 3, column 1193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Green
...o the program of Mr. Green together, Mr.Green was talking about the finance managemen...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1247, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Green
...ing about the finance management. In Mr.Green opinion, It was a good idea to buy hous...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1373, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'consists'.
Suggestion: consists
...er, my grandparent did not think so, he consist invest was dangerous. So you can see th...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 300, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...d to attest to this argument. In my 20, i had a favorite singer, Mike, who is als...
^
Line 5, column 368, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: We
...e, who is also popular among my friends.We were crazy about him, and we kept focus...
^^
Line 5, column 720, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...initely dangerous and disgusting things.In contrast, old people are more cautious ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, however, if, so, still, therefore, well, for example, i think, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, talking about, you know, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 15.1003584229 205% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2468.0 1977.66487455 125% => OK
No of words: 503.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90656063618 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73264613813 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497017892644 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 775.8 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.1033561853 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.72 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.12 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.92 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.272847572574 0.236089414692 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0829973494147 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133237890035 0.0737576698707 181% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.232932511728 0.150856017488 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100573883359 0.0645574589148 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.