The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.
As the world has been continued to complicate and develop, every aspect of human’s life has undergone a dramatic change, family relationships in particular. Given the paramount importance of the issue of the extended family, there has been a controversial debate among socialists over the idea that whether today they are still as important to us as they used to be in the past; however, I concur with those who claim that the extended family is less important now than ever before. To substantiate my points of view, two compelling reasons are being elaborated in the following essay.
To begin with, it is hard to deny that people today are more engaged in work than ever, which means that individuals have to spend more time in their office due to the hectic condition of the present life. Moreover, as there are now more jobs in big industrial cities, people have been compelled to emigrate from their hometowns and leave their extended family in order to make a living. in this way, we can see relationships today have taken a career-based pattern and moved away from the family-centred mode compared to they used to do. In contrast, since people in the past spent less time working on farms and in places where were close to their extended family, they had more leisure time to spend with them. In addition, most of the careers in the past were ancestral and family jobs in which all members of an extended family worked together all of the day, which results in the relationships had been strongly interlocked. However, the temporal and spatial conditions of today’s jobs have led to why relationships with the extended family become less valuable than ever before.
Secondly, since the advent of technology in particular the internet, human’s lifestyle has been subjected to several fundamental changes that relationships are no exception to this rule. Thanks to the internet and its charming environment, people today prefer to be alone to spend their free time surfing in the endless virtual world of the internet and entertain themselves in this way. As a result of this, no longer do people see their extended family and spend their leisure time with them as much as they used to. On the other hand, in order to have fun in their spare time, people in the past had no choice but to talk and be with their extended family. Thus, technology can be a compelling reason why the importance of relationships with the extended family is blurred today.
In a nutshell, I firmly hold that relationships with the extended family are inclined to be fainter now than ever before. Not only does spending more time in the workplace have a major impact on this process, but also the effect of the genesis of technology and the internet in particular cannot be ignored.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 389, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...ended family in order to make a living. in this way, we can see relationships toda...
^^
Line 3, column 850, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...s of an extended family worked together all of the day, which results in the relationships...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, in addition, in contrast, in particular, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 88.0 52.1666666667 169% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2307.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 476.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84663865546 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68010830848 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464285714286 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.9 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.8999861861 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.1875 100.406767564 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.75 20.6045352989 144% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.6875 5.45110844103 178% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208262580076 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0811629298293 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0766248062933 0.0737576698707 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149116445803 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0555525413223 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.