If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change?
If I could change one important thing about my hometown, I would change and improve the educational status. Although human is on the edge of civilization now, no one can turn a blind eye to the significance of educational status in thriving and blooming societies. whereas some are inclined toward the opinion that educational status does not have any crucial role in one town, on the other extreme of the rope, some believe that the changing and improvement of educational status plays a key role in blooming of people's murky future. Although both sides take their own positions, from my vantage point, the latter group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will delve into some aspects which persuade me to put forward this perspective.
First, I deeply believe that changing and improvement of educational status will develop people's knowledge and finally help them find new job opportunities. For example, my professor who lives in a small town in Brazil and teaches English language and psychology decided to change and improve the educational methods in his town. He established an English language department and encourage the young students to learn the English language. After two years those students could apply to the foreign country and achieved their goals. They could find profitable and valuable jobs and lived in a modern city. Actually, that English department could help them to find their favorite jobs and lives which they designed in their dreams.
The second reason coming to my mind is that by changing and improving educational status, we can reduce a crime and prevent people especially young students to waste their time. For instance, Korean government decided to revise the educational status at all knowledge departments in a small city and change it. They survived the impact of new and modern educational methods on the statistical crime and found out that improvement could attract many young students to knowledge departments all over that town and prevent them to waste free time dramatically and roam in town.
To put everything in a nutshell, a broad lookover the main points and discussions reveal the fact that a change in a particular area educational status, especially in small cities and towns, can have dramatic results such as finding new job opportunities and decreasing crime commitments. Therefore, one day if luck shines on me and I have power, I will change and improve my town's educational staus.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whereas
...tus in thriving and blooming societies. whereas some are inclined toward the opinion th...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 646, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help them find' instead.
Suggestion: help them find
...Actually, that English department could help them to find their favorite jobs and lives which the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, first, if, look, second, so, therefore, whereas, for example, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 15.1003584229 20% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2067.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 403.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12903225806 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79046132097 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518610421836 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 643.5 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.4116400583 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.1875 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1875 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.375 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169530853064 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0720854102465 0.076458572812 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.121228142796 0.0737576698707 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108871272465 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0510308486341 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.