If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
There is no shortage of things that could be changed in my hometown. However, if I had to make one major improvement, I would choose to create more parks and green spaces. I feel this way for two major reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, parks help people to relax and find serenity, two things which are both in short supply in today’s hectic world. Here in my hometown we live in a typical “concrete jungle” of high rise apartments, long commutes, traffic jams and crowded sidewalks. These sorts of problems make the people who live here very anxious. In many cases, our anxiety gets so extreme that it causes health problems and even death. I strongly believe that building parks could offer a permanent solution. My father is a compelling example of what I mean. For thirty years, he lived and worked in the same city that I do now, but several years ago he was forced into early retirement following a minor heart attack brought about by high blood pressure and workplace stress. However, after his retirement he moved to a more rural location, surrounded by trees, rivers and wildlife. In a short period of time, his stress was alleviated and he began to live a happier and healthier life. I am certain that by building some parks in the city where I live, my neighbors and I could enjoy similar benefits.
Secondly, the construction of parks will not just benefit our mental health, but will also encourage physical fitness among the population. Not everyone is able to afford a gym membership, and our crowded sidewalks and streets are not suited for jogging or bicycling. The construction of parks would provide children with a place to run around and adults with a location to practice simple team sports. When my father moved to the countryside, it was not only his worries that went away. He also lost a considerable amount of weight because he made the decision to begin each morning with a brisk walk in the forest. Even if I wanted to follow his example, doing so would be impossible where I live, as the streets are too crowded for casual walking. For this reason, I am desperate for some added green space in my hometown.
In conclusion, if I could change one thing about my hometown I would choose to convert some of our concrete and steel surroundings to beautiful parks and green spaces. This is because such spaces would benefit both the mental and physical health of me and my neighbors.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will explore in the following essay. First of all, parks help people to relax...
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Line 3, column 918, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...trees, rivers and wildlife. In a short period of time, his stress was alleviated and he began...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and I could enjoy similar benefits. Secondly, the construction of parks will...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...me added green space in my hometown. In conclusion, if I could change one thi...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, as for, i feel, i mean, in conclusion, in short, first of all, in many cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2035.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 432.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71064814815 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6014389006 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546296296296 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 627.3 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.5386577603 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.5 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6363636364 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.86363636364 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.119156514881 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0383263511727 0.076458572812 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0610818130092 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.098843505525 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0583141472944 0.0645574589148 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.