Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why?
- An organization that provides food and housing to people in need
- An organization that gives people money to start their own small business
- An organization that provides medical care to people in need.
It is no secret that most of the people feel sympathy and concern for other impoverished people in their society. Everyone has their own way of helping others. One of the easiest ways to participate in humanitarian activities is to donate money. While some may decide to share some amount of money to provide either food and dwelling or treatment for needy members of the community, I am of the opinion that giving financial support to those who want to establish their own business is more beneficial. The reasons to substantiate my point of view are elaborated hereunder.
First of all, funding gifted adults who are suffering from depression, simply because they are not able to run their own business successfully, will improve their sense of satisfaction. To be more specific, talent is not all a person needs in order to build a prosperous business. Running a lucrative business requires people to invest large-sum money on meticulous market research in the first place. However, since many people could not afford to spend this amount of money, they usually retreat from doing so. As a result, successive failures in this area would have a negative influence on their self-esteem, resulting in an intense depression, which would negatively influence their sense of gratification in their lives. It goes without saying that had they been provided with enough funding to evaluate every aspect of their small business, they could have avoided probable future failure.
In addition, helping small firms to flourish will reduce the rate of unemployment in the community. To put this into a more vivid picture, nowadays, by the growth of population especially in urban areas, people have a hard time to land a job, causing many of them to undergo severe economic hardship. It is because renowned companies are willing to hire only exceptional employees that meet their long list of prerequisites including having several years of work experience, not to mention the handful of working positions they would offer to job-seekers. Needless to say, only a few numbers of people are eligible to be enlisted in these types of companies. On the other hand, a small business usually embarks its path of success by recruitment of young motivated individuals wishing to gain experience and show their potential in the long run. For instance, ten years ago, receiving funding from a charity corporation, my uncle was able to open his local workshop of creating housing ornamentations and crafts. He began to hire young girls with disadvantaged backgrounds who were not experienced in making handy crafts but enthusiastic enough about being financially independent. In a short period of time, by the help of these diligent workers, my uncle could make a considerable amount of profit, helping him to expand his business and even hire more people to work in his company.
In the light of the reasons mentioned above, one could conclude that the most effective way to contribute to society through charity is to help people to initiate their small business. Not only will it help talented individuals to be more satisfied with their life but also it will create more job opportunities for other job-hunters.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1194, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ing financially independent. In a short period of time, by the help of these diligent workers,...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, thus, well, while, for instance, in addition, as a result, first of all, in the first place, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 93.0 52.1666666667 178% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2680.0 1977.66487455 136% => OK
No of words: 526.0 407.700716846 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09505703422 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83632605292 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 294.0 212.727598566 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558935361217 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 852.3 618.680645161 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 57.523494165 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.619047619 100.406767564 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0476190476 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.14285714286 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173413707933 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0534347722218 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0450844177774 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111870712446 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0220547533896 0.0645574589148 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 11.7677419355 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.38 8.01818996416 117% => OK
difficult_words: 150.0 86.8835125448 173% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.