The opinions of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes are more important to younger people than they are to older people
Celebrities such as entertainers and athletes are considered prosperous and successful individuals; therefore, they are important for people of each society. In this line of thought, many people hold the opinion that celebrities are more important for the young generation, however, others oppose this notion and believe that celebrities are important for old people as much as for younger ones. I, for one, concur with the former group for two main reasons that I will elaborate on which in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, young people have been always followed people who are flourished and famous because they need to have role models. Young people have a penchant to be successful in their personal life; so, they attempt to imitate the activities of successful people and put their feet in the footsteps of successful people like celebrities. For example, many young people usually attach the poster of well-known athletes or entertainers to the wall of their rooms because of the celebrities’ importance in their life, however, you cannot find an old one who does such an activity. In fact, old people have already found their way of life, and they are reluctant to follow the way of life of these famous people anymore.
Another exquisite reason that comes to mind is that in the modern era where we live, youngers, thanks to the internet and smartphones, are exposed to a vast amount of information about celebrities. To put it in another word, they know about all details of celebrities' life using social networks. In this circumstance, it is highly probable that young people will be influenced by celebrities in different aspects ranging from clothing style, activities, to the books they suggest. On the other hand, old people do not spend time searching about the personal life of celebrities. For instance, my grandmother and I are fans of one celebrity. Since I have followed her on Instagram, I know a lot about this celebrity and her personal life. Nevertheless, my grandmother only watches her competitions and does not have any inclination to know about her personal life. Hence, I think the celebrity is more important for me than my grandmother.
Having the two mentioned reasons into account, I totally believe that athletes and entertainers are more important for young people. Young ones have a dream of prosperity in their minds and consider these celebrities as role models. Moreover, using the internet and social media, they have a lot of information about them which definitely influences youngers.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 29, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
Suggestion: have always been
...ragraphs. To begin with, young people have been always followed people who are flourished and ...
Line 2, column 719, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
...of life of these famous people anymore. Another exquisite reason that comes to m...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
hence, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, therefore, well, as for, for example, for instance, i think, in fact, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2129.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 416.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11778846154 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86849562498 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.480769230769 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9566830502 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.277777778 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1111111111 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.83333333333 5.45110844103 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362645991675 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116307772293 0.076458572812 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101627073857 0.0737576698707 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.222055374094 0.150856017488 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0907932715571 0.0645574589148 141% => OK
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.