Governments should spend more money in sponsoring arts than in athletics like state Olympics team

Essay topics:

Governments should spend more money in sponsoring arts than in athletics (like state Olympics team).

Governments depending on the priorities of society allocate budget to different sections. They try to invest money in some areas in which people will benefit in a better way and can reach a sense of satisfaction with their life. Arts and sports are two indispensable parts of people's lives in each society. However, individuals have various ideas about the importance of these two areas in communities. Some people think the government should spend more money so as to sponsor arts and artists. On the other hand, others think sport plays a more significant role in society and the government should pay more money in this field. I, personally, concur with the former group for two conspicuous reasons which I will elaborate on which in the future paragraphs.
First and foremost, artists are the ones who make society more colorful, enrich various cultures, and make society more attractive for foreign ones. Since the dawn of human beings, people were looking for something that can make their society distinct from other communities. Art museums which included many artifacts belonging to a different period of history reveal the importance of art in each society. Therefore, when the government supports artists by funding them, artists do not have financial problems and also will be encouraged to make masterpieces. There are many people around the world who are enthusiastic about artworks. They travel to different countries to visit art museums and get acquainted with their culture. Hence the more artists will be financially supported in society, the more appealing artworks they make, and the more people are interested to visit their countries.
Second, in today's modern world where we live people are inundated with technological devices even in their spare time. Therefore, this circumstance is contributive in sowing the seeds of mental problem in them. Art is a shelter for the tired spirit of humans. Visiting art museums, people can get rid of problems they have in their monotonous lives for a limited time, and use their imagination which leads to alleviating stress and tension. In such a situation, they are more likely to stay balanced emotionally. To elucidate, I had some mental problems and visited a psychologist to get a remedy. He suggested me to visit the art exhibition and try to paint. Watching artworks and painting I recovered my mental health because it helped me to be away from my complicated life for hours. Although sports play a significant role in physical health, protecting mental health is more important in our modern era.
In conclusion, taking two mentioned reasons into account, I believe that the government should allocate more money to the arts. In this way, not only can the government enrich its culture and attract more people to visit the country, but also it can provide a society in which people are less likely to suffer from mental health.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 461, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... the government should spend more money so as to sponsor arts and artists. On the other ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 733, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... and get acquainted with their culture. Hence the more artists will be financially su...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, second, so, therefore, thus, as to, in conclusion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2427.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 477.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08805031447 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74082537373 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501048218029 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 765.0 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.1299555615 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.08 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.08 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.48 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197767108655 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0624096194024 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0838333726687 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13776364542 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0586446016701 0.0645574589148 91% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 86.8835125448 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.