The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Celebrities have an influential and tremendous impact on our lives. In fact, it is vitally important to encourage our children to follow their advice and stay updated with them in order for the best results to follow suit as they provide them with the beneficial information that can assist them to guide the nation toward progress because they are experts who are trained for such a skill. Therefore, I believe that kids who are fascinating in watching the T.V. and obsess in being up to date with new news of athletes and any famous figure, they are influenced by their opinion more than the parents due to its benefits in both terms of improving the communication skills and enhance their learning ability.
To begin with, it is critical to establish a strong bond for our kids' large social network to instill the solid foundation of their communication skills through surging them to practice some form of sports on regular basis since they have more leisure time than their parents who spend most of their time at the workplace to secure their own and their kids' future lives. For instance, I and my little brother used to follow and take a the advantage of our favorite athletes advice to preserve our body health and refine our interpersonal relationships because this famous figure provides us with many classes that learn as how to cooperate efficiently and collaborate effectively, thus, such a collaborative environment enhance our communication skills immensely as he said that most of the sports games based on teamwork based, so, we have to deal effectively with the team members to achieve our goals. In contrast, older people are consuming their time performing their job tasks, hence, they do not have the sufficient time to keep themselves updated with the modern sports games. Consequently, children are more attracted to know about the famous celebrities opinions due to the free time they have.
Second, due to the new technological innovations that happen within the contemporary era, children are fend to possess most of them especially the smartphones as these gadgets are deemed as one of the essential sources of entertainments, they endow them with many applications that will offer them the ability to see the modern video games or watching their idols private lives. For example, the children are still in the developmental stages, so, they may be influenced by the entertainers more than older age people which will, in turn, this will twist their future view of lives, since, many of these celebrities have shows that are full of many forms of violence such as the wrestling programmes. In conclusion, the older ages are fully mature and have the aptitude to manage their priorities rather than the young generation who are still immature.
To sum up, children are more influenced by the famous figures' opinions because they have more free time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 435, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: a; the
... little brother used to follow and take a the advantage of our favorite athletes advi...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1147, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...en are more attracted to know about the famous celebrities opinions due to the free time they have...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 105, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'fended'.
Suggestion: fended
...thin the contemporary era, children are fend to possess most of them especially the ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, hence, may, second, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast, in fact, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2406.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 480.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0125 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72103113115 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514583333333 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 758.7 618.680645161 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.6003584229 53% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 43.0 20.1344086022 214% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 138.554938831 48.9658058833 283% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 218.727272727 100.406767564 218% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 43.6363636364 20.6045352989 212% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 14.4545454545 5.45110844103 265% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150598459236 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0737783695821 0.076458572812 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0499875562786 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117022605383 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0272413547912 0.0645574589148 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 24.0 11.7677419355 204% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 27.83 58.1214874552 48% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.1 10.1575268817 198% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.67 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.72 8.01818996416 121% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 19.2 10.0537634409 191% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.