Question :Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
School-age children always need to be paid attention to. On the other hand, Encouraging the students has remained a challenging topic for parents. Some parents think that it is a good idea to encourage their children with financial rewards, but otherwise, some parents think that it is not an appropriate incentive for children because it can be addictive for them. I think that it is a good idea that some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school, and I have two reasons for it.
First, for most of all, money is an attractive and incentivizing reward, and the children are not exceptional among them. Children are eager to earn more money rather than their monthly pocket money. For instance, children prefer to choose their own reward, and when the parents give money to their children instead of buying a doll, toy, etc., children can select their desired game instrument. It can be more enjoyable for the student.
Secondly, giving the money to the children because of their endeavor at school, in addition to that incentivizes them to do practice more, it makes children decide what to do with their money. This gives freedom and decision-making power to children that it can be a base to mature them for their future personal and independent life. For example, on this occasion, a child can have the independence to decide what he/she needs and ask for it. He/she can go shopping with his/her parent and look around and choose an object to buy. He/she can check that how much money does he/she have and can he/she afford the interesting things or not. So, during this process, she/he can learn a lot and can attain a host of experiences that are very helpful in the future.
Consequently, I believe that giving money to children is a good idea. In addition to that, it incentivizes children to achieving more success and high grades; it can give children this responsibility and independence that they expend the money in the way which they want to spend. Also, they can learn so much during the shopping and handling their budget and the price of what they want to buy.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
... that are very helpful in the future Consequently I believe that giving money to children...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, look, second, secondly, so, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1712.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.65217391304 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52096596093 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.440217391304 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 531.9 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.6003584229 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 368.0 20.1344086022 1828% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 48.9658058833 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1712.0 100.406767564 1705% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 368.0 20.6045352989 1786% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 130.0 5.45110844103 2385% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 11.8709677419 8% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34574449275 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.34574449275 0.076458572812 452% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.235666849599 0.150856017488 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102897448029 0.0645574589148 159% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 184.5 11.7677419355 1568% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -285.12 58.1214874552 -491% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 6.10430107527 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 144.5 10.1575268817 1423% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.17 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 24.29 8.01818996416 303% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 56.0 86.8835125448 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 53.0 10.002688172 530% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 149.2 10.0537634409 1484% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 185.0 10.247311828 1805% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.