Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

In order to promote their children to devote themselves on study, some parents use the strategy, extra money for their children's good grade, to lure their kids endeavoring to work hard. To some extent, indeed, the children spend more time on school works and cultivate their knowledge. It is seemingly children benefit from this method. From my perspective, I rebuts this idea.

Admittedly, the lure of money is an effective motivation for children who want to buy tolls, CDs, or gifts for their friends. Thus, the parents seem to live under the illusion that children study harder than before and it's of vital impartance for their future. However, they fail to take into account the fact that children do not behave this way on their free wills. They just crave to own more extra money for their personal use.

For one thing, the strategy may exert unfavorable impacts on the formation of children's view of the world. Under this circumustance, children may develop the idea that they equate money with everything -- Anything can be obtained if you are rich enough. After they go to college, they may compete with others for clothes, for cell phones, for bicycles, anything that can be purchased instead of concentrate on their academic science projects. And they will waste the most valuable time in their lifes.

Moreover, parents actually have other beneficial method instead of this one. Most parents choose money method because they do not devote enough time and patience on their children. They stay with their works and customers more than with their kids, and they care less about the children's behaviors at school. However, they want the kids become a model between other kids without spending enough time with them. That is rediculous, a mission impossible. Communicating with the kids and dealing with issues together is better choice to boost the grade as well as the mental health.

Based on the discussion above, despite of the fact that by offering children money for high grade, children can improve their temparary attention on study, its passive effects are far outweigh its positive sides and will play a negative role on children's growth in their lifetime. I stongly disagree with the topic mentioned above.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 361, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'rebut'
Suggestion: rebut
...rom this method. From my perspective, I rebuts this idea. Admittedly, the lure of ...
^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'but', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'well', 'as well as', 'for one thing']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.250602409639 0.229887763892 109% => OK
Verbs: 0.132530120482 0.158761421928 83% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0698795180723 0.0866891130778 81% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0602409638554 0.046263068375 130% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0843373493976 0.0685040099705 123% => OK
Prepositions: 0.144578313253 0.118717715034 122% => OK
Participles: 0.0192771084337 0.0351676179071 55% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.41959053938 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0265060240964 0.0309702414327 86% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0746987951807 0.0887237588012 84% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0192771084337 0.0209618222197 92% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00481927710843 0.0139019557991 35% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2237.0 2387.08602151 94% => OK
No of words: 371.0 408.028673835 91% => OK
Chars per words: 6.02964959569 5.86048508987 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.347708894879 0.338922669872 103% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.264150943396 0.251872472559 105% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.180592991914 0.174417080927 104% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0970350404313 0.112833075102 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41959053938 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.56064690027 0.524397521467 107% => OK
Word variations: 63.3987524981 59.2087087015 107% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6684587814 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.55 20.5533526081 90% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.646855942 48.84282405 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.85 120.699889404 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.55 20.5533526081 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.55 0.644075263715 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.54480286738 18% => OK
Readability: 44.9650943396 45.7405998639 98% => OK
Elegance: 1.49565217391 1.45489161554 103% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256445102783 0.300154397459 85% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0982108623729 0.103427244359 95% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.072052664057 0.0752933317313 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.490407351726 0.497263757937 99% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.184155725678 0.151897553556 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0941388207278 0.114077575197 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0496947278489 0.0781384742642 64% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.3391935572 0.336927656856 101% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0762011345861 0.067059652881 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168050339489 0.210909579961 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0456156902696 0.0618886996521 74% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8870967742 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.86379928315 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 8.42114695341 119% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.75985663082 145% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.6433691756 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.