Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
No one can deny the fact that parents would choose to do anything to encourage their child to get good grades in the examinations. If I were asked, I would definitely eliminate the idea of
offering money to children for getting high grade in the school. Personally, it is my firm believe that giving money would result in no good conclusion.
To begin with, children should not be introduced to the concept of earning money. It will discourage them to learn something from studying, rather they will try to earn money through
studying. Again, many of child will be unable to produce high grades and thus fail to get money from their parents. But, as they are already exposed to the notion of earning, they will
try to earn through doing other things. This can be stressed even to committing crimes. I have to admit my opinion on this matter is profoundly influenced by my own personal experience.
You see, one of my younger cousins was given money for high marks. He loved to spend the moeny he earned by buying things that his parents would not generally give him. But, after 2 years
he begin to get low grades. As a result, his didn't get money from his parents, so he started to steal from them. Consequently, he began to steal from markets too. For this reason, I think giving
money to children will be harmful in the long run.
Secondly, children should be given toys and offered vacations for good grades. Because, it will not just make them interested in studying but also develop them as individuals. It will help them
to develop their sense of surroundings and not getting involved in any financial matters. Drawing from my own experience, my youger brother was given trips and tours for each good result he
produced. So, after going on each tour, he gained more experience of cultures anfd norms. He came to know about diffence in people which helped him become a very intellligent human
being. Moreover, all the transactions and money spending was done by my father, which made by brother not being exposed to money. So, he didn't care about, rather cared about surfing
and roaming. It is certainly clear to see why money should be kept at a distance from the children and why they should be made to concentrate on other things like amusements and
enjoyments.
In light of the above-mentioned reason, I would always refute the idea of offering money to young personnels and would encourage that children should be never exposed to money in
any situation.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...I would definitely eliminate the idea of offering money to children for getting h...
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Suggestion: Offering
...uld definitely eliminate the idea of offering money to children for getting high grad...
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Suggestion: Studying
...r they will try to earn money through studying. Again, many of child will be unable to...
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Line 9, column 185, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...osed to the notion of earning, they will try to earn through doing other things. ...
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Suggestion: Try
... to the notion of earning, they will try to earn through doing other things. Thi...
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Suggestion: He
...enerally give him. But, after 2 years he begin to get low grades. As a result, h...
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Line 15, column 4, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'begins'.
Suggestion: begins
...rally give him. But, after 2 years he begin to get low grades. As a result, his did...
^^^^^
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Suggestion: didn't
...gin to get low grades. As a result, his didnt get money from his parents, so he start...
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Line 15, column 102, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...from his parents, so he started to steal from them. Consequently, he began to ste...
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Suggestion: Money
... too. For this reason, I think giving money to children will be harmful in the long...
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Suggestion: To
...hem as individuals. It will help them to develop their sense of surroundings and...
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Line 23, column 190, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
... trips and tours for each good result he produced. So, after going on each tour, ...
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Suggestion: Produced
...ps and tours for each good result he produced. So, after going on each tour, he gaine...
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Line 25, column 181, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ped him become a very intellligent human being. Moreover, all the transactions an...
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...him become a very intellligent human being. Moreover, all the transactions and mon...
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Suggestion: didn't
...ther not being exposed to money. So, he didnt care about, rather cared about surfing ...
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Line 27, column 182, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...t care about, rather cared about surfing and roaming. It is certainly clear to se...
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Suggestion: And
...re about, rather cared about surfing and roaming. It is certainly clear to see w...
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Line 29, column 122, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...from the children and why they should be made to concentrate on other things like...
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Suggestion: Enjoyments
...e on other things like amusements and enjoyments. In light of the above-mentioned r...
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Line 35, column 179, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...dren should be never exposed to money in any situation.
^^^^
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Suggestion: Any
... should be never exposed to money in any situation.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, i think, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2082.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 433.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80831408776 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52546091633 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517321016166 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 615.6 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.7883658714 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.28 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.32 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 14.0 4.53405017921 309% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 22.0 5.5376344086 397% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250109442259 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0727194339273 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0719919725603 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0965153968414 0.150856017488 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0636073741617 0.0645574589148 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.