Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
School is a very important stage in our lives and achieving good scores in school would give the kid the opportunity to enter top universities. Personally, I believe that offering money for children to encourage them to be excellent in their school is a good idea, as it motivates them to study hard, I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay,
First of all, appreciating other's work gives them a good feeling toward what they have been appreciated for. And one of the most effective ways to appreciate someone's work is to give him a prize for his accomplishment. When the parents offer a prize for their kids if they get good marks in their school, this would make the children feel that their parents care about them, and they will be happy for their success. In contrast, if the children feel that even if they get high marks or low marks it is the same for their parents, they might feel that they are ignored, and this would have a negative impact on their personalities in the future. A friend of mine is a compelling example of this. He used to get high grades when we were in th intermediate school, but he did not feel he got the appropriate appreciation from his parents that he deserves. This ignorance for his achievements resulted in being careless in high school, and his grades became extremely bad.
Secondly, parents should keep their children motivated to study, and offering them money is really efficient way to do that. A study by the school of education at the University of Cairo shows that using external motivations for the kids in early school life results in getting high scores in the following study years. For instance, if the kids know that they will get a reward if they do well in their studies, the will try to do the best they can and come over all the obstacles they might face to get that reward. Therefore, in the long term, they will be self-discipline people and ambitious individuals who gets what they aim for.
To conclude, if parents offer money for their kids when they get good grades, the children will feel that their effort is appreciated, and they will make the best to achieve their goals.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 383, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h I will explore in the following essay, First of all, appreciating others work g...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for instance, i feel, in contrast, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1805.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62820512821 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56348838798 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.476923076923 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 539.1 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 71.3199309056 48.9658058833 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.846153846 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0 20.6045352989 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.46153846154 5.45110844103 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.408833016764 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.159573325273 0.076458572812 209% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0743005423062 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.270197974082 0.150856017488 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0404200912544 0.0645574589148 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.95 58.1214874552 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.17 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.