Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

There is no shortage of opinion on whether offering school-age children money for their high grades. In my opinion, it is definitely a rather good idea to do. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I'll explore in the following paragraphs.

First of all, it is more likely for children to work harder on their work due to the reward given by their parents. In order to obtain the money and buy things they want, the students will work harder with no doubt. My personal experience is a great example of this. I remembered when I was in elementary school, I was fascinated with puzzles. Since puzzles were not affordable for me at that age, I had to study diligently to meet the standards set by my parents. In other words, I had to get good grades to earn enough money to buy the puzzles. As a result, I always meet my expectation and bought quite an amount of puzzles. For this reason, it is a reasonable idea to give kids money as an award of high grades.

Secondly, awarding children money due to their good grades can also encourage them to cherish money. In other words, they may unconsciously obtain the thought of the effort they have to make to earn such money. Drawing from my own experience, with the money I earned from getting good grades, I tend to deposit it to my account first. After quite a long time,as the money has accumulated to a larger number, I will use it to buy things I really needed instead of spending it to things that are not necessary. It's certainly clear to see why it is important to give money to children when they behave well.

In conclusion, it is rather important to offer money to school-age children when they work hard. This is because it can not only boost their will to study but also make them appreciate what they have earned.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 204, Rule ID: ILL_I_LL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I'll'?
Suggestion: I'll
...el this way for two main reasons, which Ill explore in the following paragraphs. ...
^^^
Line 1, column 208, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Ill) must be used with a third-person verb: 'explores'.
Suggestion: explores
...his way for two main reasons, which Ill explore in the following paragraphs. First o...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 359, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , as
...y account first. After quite a long time,as the money has accumulated to a larger n...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, may, really, second, secondly, so, well, i feel, in conclusion, no doubt, as a result, first of all, in my opinion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1458.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 327.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.45871559633 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47789090294 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 212.727598566 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507645259939 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 452.7 618.680645161 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 26.5670012526 48.9658058833 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 81.0 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1666666667 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.22222222222 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.361413120487 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111208173896 0.076458572812 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0849479808779 0.0737576698707 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.241932691989 0.150856017488 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0522472573806 0.0645574589148 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.7 11.7677419355 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.29 10.9000537634 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 86.8835125448 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.