Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Parents reward often give the motivation to their children for doing impressive things. However, in my opinion, handing them a bulk of money because of their success is not fruitful for them. I feel this way because of the two reasons which I explore in the following paragraphs.
First, rewarding money for the children succeeds in their education can shift their focus more on money rather than education. Once they become habitual to get the reward every time of their achievement, they keen to work for gaining that reward instead of the integrity of their knowledge which counterproductive in the learning process. For instance; when I secured the second position in my 9th grade, my parents were so happy because of my reports that they gave me 3000 to buy a cycle. Subconsciously, I began to feel that I would get more present if I got the top position no matter how. Then I studied my course content being more result-oriented and only prepared for the probable question in the examination. These techniques hardly hit back me at the final term when I had to face the conceptual one in my final examination. Consequently, my final score was so low that I had bitten up by my parents for my negligence.
furthermore, giving credit at an early age might be detrimental to the behavior of the children. Younger children are naive and oblivious to the use of money. Once they know how to use the money, they may be obstinate to purchase the goods they would like to have; in the severe case, they end up buying the unnecessary good. As a result, they shall develop a spendthrift nature.
In conclusion, I believe that younger children should not be giving the habit of appraising them through money even they achieved a big score in their academic field. This is because it may degrade the quality of their education and sometimes may introduce negative behavior for them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...up by my parents for my negligence. furthermore, giving credit at an early age might be...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, then, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1560.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 326.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78527607362 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24917287072 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79535890182 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.558282208589 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 490.5 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8197108854 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.375 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3125 5.45110844103 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230169138459 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0780734139875 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.046761528236 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145995180376 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0258290654908 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.