Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the effect of parent's rewarding approach on the prosperity of their children in school exams. In this regard, one controversial question is whether it is better that parents give money to children when they get high marks in school or not. Despite the arguments asserting that parents should not offer money to children, I believe otherwise, maintaining that giving money to children when they become successful has many advantages. To support this, there are myriads of reasons, two of which are going to be aptly elucidated through the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, the most prominent reason that comes to my mind is that giving money to children when they become successful in their exams leads to more effort. The children need incentives to encourage them to be persistent in their lessons. Therefore, parents can offer children different awards such as money. A study has been done in the University of Tehran about the effect of getting money to children on their final exams' grade. Scientists studied two different student groups. The first group was rewarded when they get high grades in their exams. However, the second group's students did not get any awards for their success. According to the results obtained, students who were rewarded attained 15 percent more in their exams' grades in comparison to the students who were not rewarded.
Furthermore, another noteworthy reason that should be taken into account is that by giving money to the children, they learn that they should make an effort to attain what they want. This approach prepares them for future life. For instance, when I was an elementary student and wanted something from my parents, always they promised me that if you could get a good grade in your exams, we would buy what you want. That behavior taught me that I should make an effort when I want to reach my aims.
To sum up, taking all the aforementioned reasons to account, one can conclude that giving money to children when they get high grades in school can drive them to effort more in their lessons. In addition, it teaches them to make an effort to get what they want.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, therefore, for instance, in addition, such as, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1797.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85675675676 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48940633498 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.494594594595 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 533.7 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.7482591078 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.8333333333 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5555555556 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61111111111 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358057877312 0.236089414692 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118897437227 0.076458572812 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0792047503319 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22818611379 0.150856017488 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0605046711213 0.0645574589148 94% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.