Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Parents are the bonanza in our life because they protect us from danger and also support us in every odd situation. Spending money for children is okay in order to smooth their life. The best way to inspire children success by giving money is the given statement-with this someone would agree, others would disagree. In my opinion, the giving money has brought undesirable consequences for their children. I think in this way for the following two important reason.

The main reason is that excessive money enhances children to fall in the addiction. Addiction is the utmost and pressing concern for our school going children because on that age they are easily fall in the trap. For example, I was grown in a country area of Bangladesh and used to complete my school on that rural setting. On our time, the economic condition for most of the family was vulnerable. So, spending enough money behind school goers was unthinkable. Apart from this condition, I had some wealthy friends who had enough access of money but they were not good at studies. When my rich friends were passing one class, their parents gave them money to spend. So, they spend these money behind addiction such as smoking, taking drugs etc. Finally they did not complete their education because they were addicted by bone. As you can see that, excess access to money poses to spend these money for addiction that ultimately causes a huge unacceptable impacts.

Another reason is that the access of money makes children unconscionable and naive about life. Life is not simple, it is full of irony, and no one cares for other. When, parents give money to their children without good reason then children are not get chance to face the cruel reality. To be more specific, my cousin was grown by wealth. He did not face any economic hardship in his life. But, the situation was change dramatically when my uncle was died. Then, he started a business in order to lead a solvent life. However, he did not get the success because of his inexperienced brain, everyone deceived him. This experience taught me that, less access to money is good for children because it provides a room of opportunity to understand the harsh and arduous reality. Furthermore, it makes someone discreet and pave way to get the noticeable success.

In conclusion, whatever claims someone put against my opinion, at the end of the day less availability to money is a greater good. This access not only harms our child future but also makes them vulnerable to addiction. So, we should practice to give lest money to celebrate our children success.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 196, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'fallen'.
Suggestion: fallen
...ren because on that age they are easily fall in the trap. For example, I was grown i...
^^^^
Line 3, column 683, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...ave them money to spend. So, they spend these money behind addiction such as smoking, takin...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 888, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
..., excess access to money poses to spend these money for addiction that ultimately causes a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 957, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'impact'?
Suggestion: impact
...t ultimately causes a huge unacceptable impacts. Another reason is that the access ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 166, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...l of irony, and no one cares for other. When, parents give money to their children w...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, however, if, so, then, apart from, for example, i think, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2155.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8536036036 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53486663548 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506756756757 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.6718547552 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.9642857143 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8571428571 20.6045352989 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.53571428571 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286788791517 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0769514381648 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0543143646321 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169523499721 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0651994991091 0.0645574589148 101% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.