Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
No body can deny that there are both the positive and negative aspects of offering money to a school-age children for each high grade he or she get in school. If I were asked I would definitely prefer not giving any money to the kid for every good score. I firmly believe this way because of the several reasons, and I will elaborate on this in the subsequent paragraphs.
First and foremost, offering money every time for every high grade can have an negative impact on shaping the student's future. Sometimes, parents provide pocket money to their kid for securing very high score in some exam. But the situation can get worse if this is repeated for each high mark. A student may try to avoid studying in detail and they might only focus on preparing for the exam to get those money without gaining much knowledge on the subject matter. My opinion on this matter is profoundly influenced by my own experience. You see, my brother is 5 years younger than me. He used to secure very good score in every exams since he joined the high school. My parents were very happy about it and they used to buy expensive gifts after announcement of every results to encourage him to be more attentive. But, they never looked into how much depth of knowledge he was having in each subject as he used to memorize the concepts instead of understanding the logic behind it. Because his target was to get the lucrative gift from parents and he used to showoff with those money in front of his friends in school. As a result, during their board examination, mathematics question was a bit tricky, all the problems needed a detailed understanding of each topics and he failed the exam as he was lagging the concepts. For this reason, if my parents would have never handed him gifts for each good score, my brother would have passed the exam with good score.
Secondly, sometimes, the money, students get from their parents utilizes in a bad way. It is quite common that, students spend those money with their friends for enjoyment. But, parents don't get to know if their kids are committing any thing wrong with those money. Drawing from my own experience, I have seen my neighbours used to offer money to their children for if they score more than their expectation. However, they never thought about what they are doing with those money. One day, my father caught them red handed. He found they were spending those money on some illegal activities and informed their parents about it. So it is certainly clear that unless the student has any good purpose to spend those money on, parents should not give them right away for every good score.
To sum up, in the light of the above mentioned points, I strongly believe that parents should think twice before offering money to their children for each high score. This is because, this may hamper their child's study and they may not use those money wisely.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'Nobody'?
Suggestion: Nobody
No body can deny that there are both the positi...
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Line 1, column 106, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'child'?
Suggestion: child
...pects of offering money to a school-age children for each high grade he or she get in sc...
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Line 1, column 145, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
... children for each high grade he or she get in school. If I were asked I would defi...
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Line 3, column 77, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...very time for every high grade can have an negative impact on shaping the students...
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Line 3, column 401, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
... focus on preparing for the exam to get those money without gaining much knowledge on the s...
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Line 3, column 1076, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...rom parents and he used to showoff with those money in front of his friends in school. As a...
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Line 6, column 74, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a bad way" with adverb for "bad"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...tudents get from their parents utilizes in a bad way. It is quite common that, students spen...
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Line 6, column 128, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...It is quite common that, students spend those money with their friends for enjoyment. But, ...
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Line 6, column 187, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...eir friends for enjoyment. But, parents dont get to know if their kids are committin...
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Line 6, column 233, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'anything'?
Suggestion: anything
...et to know if their kids are committing any thing wrong with those money. Drawing from my...
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Line 6, column 254, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...ids are committing any thing wrong with those money. Drawing from my own experience, I have...
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Line 6, column 469, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
... thought about what they are doing with those money. One day, my father caught them red ha...
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Line 6, column 507, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h those money. One day, my father caught them red handed. He found they were spen...
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Line 6, column 554, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...red handed. He found they were spending those money on some illegal activities and informed...
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Line 6, column 709, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...e student has any good purpose to spend those money on, parents should not give them right ...
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Line 8, column 241, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...their childs study and they may not use those money wisely.
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Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hey may not use those money wisely.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, as to, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 75.0 43.0788530466 174% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2390.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 513.0 407.700716846 126% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65886939571 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.31398713016 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479532163743 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 744.3 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3704048808 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.6 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.52 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.48 5.45110844103 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.5376344086 307% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.385227157218 0.236089414692 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11568378265 0.076458572812 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0696854151827 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.26430501192 0.150856017488 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0202107544656 0.0645574589148 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.