Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Students today are different from the past students; this is because the educational system has been changed. Some people believe that students need some motivation which can encourage them to read their lessons more and gain a good mark in them, but some do not. I, personally, believe that offering money to children for their high grade is not a good decision. I feel this way because of two main reasons that I will explain in the following essay.
First of all, offering money can prevent them from understanding the concept that they need to improve their knowledge. When parents offer their children money for each high grade, children start to try to gain money, not for knowledge which is a most crucial purpose. In other words, their goal is money instead of trying to progress their information. For example, my parents give money to my sister for each high grade in her report. Seen from another angle, she only memorizes her lessons, and she does not try to find out the deep concepts of her lessons. Consequently, children can not understand the value of the knowledge, so they do not try to get their lessons very sufficient; also, they will miss beneficial information which can be useful in their future.
Secondly, offering money may hurt children's self-confidence and have a negative influence on their personality. While, some parents believe that giving money can be a good way to persuade their children to study more, but it can put more pressure on students. In fact, the competition between students will increase, so they have to try more than before that causes hurt their self-confidence. In addition, students for achieving their goal, which has been changed to gaining money, can make mistakes; for instance, they can cheat in their exams; thus, their grade is fake, and they break the rules.
To wrap everything up, I strongly believe that offering money to children for each high grade is not a good idea. This is because offering money can hurt both children's level of knowledge and their self-confidence and personality which can influence their future negatively.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 444, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at I will explain in the following essay First of all offering money can prevent ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 581, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r grade is fake and they break the rules To wrap everything up I strongly believe...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, i feel, in addition, in fact, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1707.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 353.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83569405099 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52248751961 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 212.727598566 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.441926345609 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 522.0 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.6003584229 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 353.0 20.1344086022 1753% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 48.9658058833 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1707.0 100.406767564 1700% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 353.0 20.6045352989 1713% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 161.0 5.45110844103 2954% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 11.8709677419 8% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.341335265868 0.236089414692 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.341335265868 0.076458572812 446% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238860940242 0.150856017488 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0322234125666 0.0645574589148 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 177.9 11.7677419355 1512% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -278.36 58.1214874552 -479% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 6.10430107527 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 139.8 10.1575268817 1376% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.27 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 23.43 8.01818996416 292% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 51.0 86.8835125448 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 10.002688172 550% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 143.2 10.0537634409 1424% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 178.0 10.247311828 1737% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.