Some people believe that video games could inspire young students' interest and make their study more efficient rather than distract them and be a waste of time, so young students should be allowed to play video games. Do you agree or disagree?
It is axiomatic that by the advancement of technology, games undergo profound changes. As a result, traditional games are disappearing gradually and we see the emergence and development of video games. The controversial debate that arises here is about the effect of these games on students' academic performance. As far as I am concerned, it is better to prevent young students from playing video games. There are several noticeable reasons, two of which I will elucidate in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, the reason why it is a prudent course of action to inhibit students from playing too many video games lies in the fact that these games are produced by intelligent people whose goal is making money as much as possible from the product. Consequently, these people know how to make a game addictive and deviate students' attention from their courses to these distracting games. For example, four years ago, when my cousin was 15 years old, he bought an X-Box device and had a football game that took four hours a day playing that game. As a result, after five months playing, he encountered a dramatic reduction in his scores and his parents prohibited him from playing anymore.
Another equally noteworthy reason that deserves some words here is that these games are usually associated with severe physical disabilities. One of the most important is weak in eyesight. In this regard, it is no secret that these games need following the characters and events existing in the games, so a lot of eye movements are associated with these games which cause a sharp weakness in their sight ability. This problem will be more serious when it coexists with spending some time on reading books and doing assignments. Generally, I can say this mixture has the potential to annihilate your power of sight. It is surprising to say that in the example mentioned above, my cousin wore glasses after four years playing and studying together.
In summary, all of the aforementioned ideas lead us to the conclusion that young students should be prevented from playing video games as much as possible. Furthermore, it is highly recommended that parents monitor and control the time their children spend on playing video games and amuse them with healthier entertainments, especially those require cooperation with other children or even other family members.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 330, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ow to make a game addictive and deviate students attention from their courses to these d...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 13, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ing and studying together. In summary, all of the aforementioned ideas lead us to the con...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, furthermore, so, for example, in summary, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1976.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 389.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07969151671 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79166962363 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.568123393316 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.104590499 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.235294118 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8823529412 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35294117647 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318309228579 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.092527750056 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0730687196627 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192101580496 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.042081042921 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.79 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.