Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, due to the progressive changes of life styles and the hectic life of people, some might find themselves busier than before. therefore, people may find themselves spending less and less time with their family, especially their children, thus, managing that limited time and spending it in the best way is essential. Although some people may argue that parents should spend their left spare times with their children's school works, I personally believe spending time with children in playing games or sports is better, since it strengthens the bonds between parents and children, and doing school works might be boring for them.
First and foremost, playing various games and activities means doing some team works together which stimulates the emotions, causing strengthening the bonds between parents and infants. It is crystal-clear that, when people spend more time together doing exciting hobbies and leisure, the interaction between them increases and when it's followed by emotions, it leads to stronger bonds of relation, trusting, and a better overall relationship. According to statics, conducted by Isfahan's university, parents that play games at least every other day with their children, usually have better and healthier relation with their children. Thus, i believe playing games and exciting sports stimulates emotions, which leads to a better relation between the players.
Secondly, children have to deal with school everyday, and their parents are also busy during their time and focusing on school work in free times might be boring for both of children and parents. In fact, most of the children spend at least 5 days of a week at school, and especially during their early ages, they find schools and homework boring. In addition, most of the parents are either busy going to work, or doing house chores in most of their times and helping their children about the homework, might be boring for them, as it is for their children. Undoubtedly, when both of parents and children avoid doing some activities they don't like, forcing them to do such things is waste of time. For example, my uncle used to spend most of his time working mathematics with her niece, but unlike what he thought, she didn't have any significant progress; because she was simply too bored and couldn't focus enough.
All in all, according to aforementioned reasons above, I believe parents should spend their time with their children, mostly in playing sports and exciting activities. Since it will strenghthens the bonds between parents and children, and paying attention to only schoolwork, might be boring for both of parents and children, without any significant result.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 135, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...ght find themselves busier than before. therefore, people may find themselves spending le...
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Line 5, column 641, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ier relation with their children. Thus, i believe playing games and exciting spor...
^
Line 9, column 45, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...ndly, children have to deal with school everyday, and their parents are also busy during...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 640, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ildren avoid doing some activities they dont like, forcing them to do such things is...
^^^^
Line 9, column 821, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... niece, but unlike what he thought, she didnt have any significant progress; because ...
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Line 9, column 895, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...s; because she was simply too bored and couldnt focus enough. All in all, accordin...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, at least, for example, in addition, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 13.8261648746 203% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2261.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 430.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25813953488 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55322996108 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486046511628 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 635.4 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.190734989 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 161.5 100.406767564 161% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.7142857143 20.6045352989 149% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.21428571429 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.458995046067 0.236089414692 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.16900823971 0.076458572812 221% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0880241715821 0.0737576698707 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.287439259064 0.150856017488 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0554932003932 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 11.7677419355 159% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.82 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 10.002688172 175% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.