Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible.
Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which
of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples
to support your opinion
The adults have an influential and tremendous impact on our lives. In fact, it is vitally important to educate them and refine their attributes because they are the power and pillars that will guide our nation toward progress. Therefore, they must have the sense of responsibility and freedom from an early age. Thus, I totally agree with the statement that said the adult must be self- dependent due to its benefits in both of improving their communications skills and enhance their educational abilities. The explanations go as follows.
To begin with, the social skills have a great influence on children personalities, especially during the adolescence period because it is deemed as the light that can guide them to fulfill their goals. Indeed, in this period of life, children are notoriously rebellion and have an aggressive behavior that they do not confront their parent's rules, thus, by interacting with people this will help them to regulate their lives because they will be able to deal effectively with other people. For instance, when I was fifteen years old, my parent surged me to live with friends in a dormitory rather than live with them, in order, to teach me how to be a socialized person, so, I inhabited with three peers who taught me how to cooperate efficiently and collaborate effectively. Thus, such a collaborative environment enhance my interpersonal skills immensely which had a positive impact on my future workflow and productivity because these skills are highly required for many jobs. Moreover, that assisted me to have a sense of independence and refine my interdisciplinary development. In conclusion, to have optimal characteristics, parents should encourage their children to rely on themselves from an early age because this may aid them to instill the concrete basis of the social skills.
Second, at certain time, students will start to think how to improve their educational level and because most of the big universities are found in metropolitan cities, thus, they will apply for them and plan to transfer from the family life to a campus life. In fact, they must have the aptitude to go with this decision such as having a fierce confidence by themselves, since, it is a hard transition in their lives. For example, I used to learn how to be self- tolerant and adapted to change in life when I was at the middle school, because my father always told me that I have to fight a battle by my own self because he will not be always there, in addition, he said that there is no paved and a straight road on my way, so, I have to be able to face all the obstacles especially in college life. Thus, when I left my family and traveled to united states, since, I had accepted to study there, I did have the capability to confront all the problems because I had tolerated doing so before leaving my country. Consequently, children must be able to depend on themselves in order not to be vulnerable to a vast array of difficulties in their future.
To sum up, the adults are the cornerstone of the community, thus, parents must eager seek to endow them with the best word of advice to be self- dependent because this will order their future life
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1100, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...disciplinary development. In conclusion, to have optimal characteristics, parents...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, if, may, moreover, second, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 84.0 52.1666666667 161% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2642.0 1977.66487455 134% => OK
No of words: 548.0 407.700716846 134% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82116788321 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83832613839 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83741931556 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 267.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487226277372 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 848.7 618.680645161 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.6943954513 48.9658058833 175% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.411764706 100.406767564 155% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.2352941176 20.6045352989 156% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0588235294 5.45110844103 185% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155132535918 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0568146022789 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0356455185908 0.0737576698707 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109101494648 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0182829672153 0.0645574589148 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 11.7677419355 148% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.27 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 86.8835125448 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.