Some young people (14-18) tend to divide their free time to participate in several activities, such as competitive sports, piano, and dance classes. Others prefer to focus on one activity. Which one do you think is better?
Undoubtedly, time is the most precious thing we have in our life. In my opinion, young people should focus on one activity in their leisure time. I will explore the reasons why I feel this way in the following essay.
First of all, participating in several activities costs a lot, while youth mostly do not have that much money. Sports classes, music classes and art classes all need money, and a low-budget person cannot afford it. Ten years ago, when I was in high school, I would get pocket-money from my father. I did not have a lot of money, and I had to manage my expenses. Although I had interests in music and dance, I only planned to go to a piano class. If I had gone to the dance class too, I would have been in a money-shortage for the rest of the year. This example demonstrates why it is important to focus on one activity in youth while there is not enough money to be extravagant.
Secondly, young people are mostly students and do not have much free time to spend on several hobbies. A person can be successful in an activity if only they spend enough time on it. However, joining many activities makes a person divide their free time. As a result, they will not be successful in any of the classes. My own experience explains it well. When I was a student in middle school, I used to go to a volleyball class and a poem class. Both of those classes needed attention, and I had to practice for them. After all, I was a student, and I did not have enough free time to practice well for both of the classes. Consequently, I could not flourish in any of the activities, and I totally wasted my time.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that youth should only focus on one activity or class in their free time. This is because such people do not have enough money and free time to participate in several events.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 680, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is not enough money to be extravagant. Secondly, young people are mostly studen...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, well, while, after all, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1492.0 1977.66487455 75% => OK
No of words: 341.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.37536656891 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57889503439 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472140762463 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 478.8 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 20.89309795 48.9658058833 43% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 71.0476190476 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2380952381 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.80952380952 5.45110844103 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289222400926 0.236089414692 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0901805814885 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0929452145469 0.0737576698707 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.213727752538 0.150856017488 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0817217512555 0.0645574589148 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.3 11.7677419355 62% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.83 10.9000537634 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.02 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 86.8835125448 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.