Some young people (14-18) tend to divide their free time to participate in several activities, such as competitive sports, piano, and dance classes. Others prefer to focus on one activity. Which one do you think is better?
Nowadays, there are a plethora of activities that people can choose to do in their leisure time. These activities vary from age to age. Most of the parents plan to enroll their young children in classes like music, dance, sports, to name but a few. In this vein, some young people prefer to attend various classes while others tend to choose one activity. In my opinion, attending one particular class is more beneficial for the young, and I will explain my viewpoint in the following essay.
First and foremost, by concentrating on one activity, young people are more likely to achieve success in that particular area in the future. It is no secret that practice makes perfect. Young people who put all their energy and time into one activity and try to be best in their most favorite area for a long period of time would be able to foster their ability, find and fix their weak spots, and become adept in that area. Wasting their time and energy, attending different classes makes young children tired and unwilling to progress in one specific area. For instance, when I was young, I used to take part in tennis, swimming, painting, and singing classes. I never had enough time to practice whatever I had learned in those classes. I really enjoyed those classes, but I never learned any of those activities well. In contrast, my brother used to attend violin classes since he was 6. Now, he can play the violin perfectly. This is because he focused on one activity and eventually harvested the results of his efforts.
Secondly, attending several classes puts lots of financial pressure on parents. Extra-curriculum activities like participating in such classes need a large deal of money. Recreation centers offer classes that are usually expensive. If children attend several classes, the prices add up and become a significant amount. At this age, parents usually have to spend a lot on their children's education and school stuff like books, uniforms, and leisure time activities. The problem is not only the fees paid for classes. To be more specific, children usually attend these classes with their friends or sometimes find new friends during their classes. Most of them like to hangover with their friends and eat some snacks or drink in the cafeteria adjacent to their classes. In addition, they spend some money to commute between their classes and home. Consequently, the more classes they attend, the more significant deal of money they should pay. So, parents should put aside a large deal of money to cover all the aforementioned expenses.
In a nutshell, I believe that youngsters should focus on one activity rather than attend several activities. This is because by allocating their time and concentration on one activity, they can better learn the activity and become successful at it, and participating in one activity is more economical.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 310, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... in their most favorite area for a long period of time would be able to foster their ability, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, well, while, for instance, in addition, in contrast, in my opinion, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2393.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 480.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98541666667 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64807237937 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.489583333333 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 758.7 618.680645161 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.652427639 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.4642857143 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1428571429 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.92857142857 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.322946084158 0.236089414692 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0856844489879 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0747230229307 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234011709966 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0693908662701 0.0645574589148 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.