Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time? Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part time job or by volunteering in the community
- Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument.
It is incontrovertibly axiomatic that in today's modern world with galloping progress in all field of technologies all people should use their free time efficiently, specifically students because they have much free time, because there is nothing more precious than time for them. Assoted approaches could be implemented by students for using their free time after coming back home from school. with this in mind, there is a heated controversy among people as to whether they should gain practical wok experience or they shoud be involved in entertaing activities such as palying sport or musical instruments. Although it is hard to reach a consensus on this issue, I am, to great extent, on the belief that students should have a part time job and learining some practical working skill, even vulntary ones for quite a few reasons, among which the most conspicuous ones are substantiated in the following paragraphs.
To commence, the fist exquisite reason which advocate my viewpoint is the importance of learing work experience. In today's competetive world, all people are in a competition for finding a decent jon in the future, which not only will gaurantee their dependency from their family but also they may be prosperous. It is stand to reason that one of the important necessities of finding a well-paid job is the enough related experience in that field. Accordingly, students can utilize their free time effectively by having a part time job and learning some practical work experience, and as a consequence, they would be prepared for finding an appropriat job in the future. A vivid example can be given to shed light to the subject is my own experience. When I was in high school, besides education, I worked in a small company and I learned such a useful experience that after my education, that company offered me a full-time position with a well-paid salary. Therefore, my personal experience compeletely corroborate the fact that students by having a part-time job in their free time after school, their future job will be gauranteed thanks to their useful experience gained during their free-time.
Alongside the first reason elaborated above, the fact that student can earn money and could afford their tuition fee is another point which requires meticulous attention. Nowadays, families are under the economic pressures all around the world and they have many troubles for paying school tuition fee of their children. However, if students have a part time job, not only would they earn some money for helping their families, but also they would learned how to manage their money and can be independent as soon as possible.
Drawing upon the reasons, Although there are always some eception which are excluded from the general rule, I do believe that the benefit of having part time job in free-time take precedence over those of other activities for student. To recapitulate the reasons, not only will student job opportuniy significantly increase by having practical experience, but also students can help their families' economy and be independent easily. Consequently, I strongly recommend that student find an appropriate job, even voluntary job.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 395, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: With
...ime after coming back home from school. with this in mind, there is a heated controv...
^^^^
Line 1, column 457, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...re is a heated controversy among people as to whether they should gain practical wok experien...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 731, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... the belief that students should have a part time job and learining some practical workin...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 918, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...stantiated in the following paragraphs. To commence, the fist exquisite reason w...
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Line 3, column 522, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...their free time effectively by having a part time job and learning some practical work ex...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 350, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...r children. However, if students have a part time job, not only would they earn some mone...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 449, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'learn'
Suggestion: learn
...ing their families, but also they would learned how to manage their money and can be in...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 149, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...I do believe that the benefit of having part time job in free-time take precedence over t...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, besides, but, consequently, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.0752688172 260% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2667.0 1977.66487455 135% => OK
No of words: 515.0 407.700716846 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1786407767 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.763781212 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84696616168 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 212.727598566 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497087378641 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 836.1 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.7937250298 48.9658058833 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 156.882352941 100.406767564 156% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.2941176471 20.6045352989 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.29411764706 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343329136863 0.236089414692 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119611514357 0.076458572812 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0757461317425 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223841668555 0.150856017488 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0735787146012 0.0645574589148 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 11.7677419355 154% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 58.1214874552 71% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 10.1575268817 148% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.36 10.9000537634 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.87 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 86.8835125448 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.