TPO 21 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this sophisticated and competing world in which we are living, finding a good job can lead to a prosperous life. Some people assert that the ability to make good relationships with others is more essential for success in a future career than studying hard in school while others stand against this notion, stating that good education is more important. Personally speaking, I believe that studying hard in school is vital to future success, and I will make my side more apparent in the next paragraphs.
First, finding a proper job and advancing in every career needs detailed knowledge and information. It is crystal clear that in this challenging labor market, applying for a job requires abundant of abilities and competencies, which make one eligible for the job. The fundamental rule of the companies to recruit employees is their detailed knowledge of the job they are applied for. Although making healthy relationships and the ability to impact well on people is vital for the firms, education, and proficiency outweighs significantly. A personal example can drive my notion home. Five years ago, I applied for a job in a prominent chain-market in New York as a market manager. I had a vast network of friends who were covering a wide range of experts as market analyzers, business developers, truck drivers, etc., and this reliable network had made me confident to give the position. However, the company rejected my application, stating that I had no related education in that particular area.
Second, the modern business environment needs agile learners and adaptable individuals as fitting staff. Sophisticated software, complicated structures of teams, the interdisciplinary issues has made the current jobs more sophisticated and hard since a person should learn such software soon, adapts to the new structure of the teams involving in, and learns some related issues that had never been taught to in order to accomplish interdisciplinary projects. Therefore, the ability to learn new technology and software is of high priority in order to be successful in a job which stemmed from proper preparation and studying in schools. While a person experienced how to be hardworking and have the perseverance, he has a high chance to overcome every new situation.
In conclusion, studying hard in schools leads to exceptional ability in being an agile learner and adaptable to new situations, and it equips people with more knowledge and information which is inevitable to be successful in the future job.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 65, Rule ID: NEEDS_FIXED[1]
Message: "needs detailed" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try 'detailing' or 'to be detailed'.
Suggestion: detailing; to be detailed
...job and advancing in every career needs detailed knowledge and information. It is crysta...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, second, so, therefore, well, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2144.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20388349515 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06804181411 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526699029126 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 673.2 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 71.8573891468 48.9658058833 147% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.0 100.406767564 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.75 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.3125 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237458423618 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738376985969 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0695271945174 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158376037787 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0628713868096 0.0645574589148 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 11.7677419355 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 86.8835125448 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.