TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task

Essay topics:

TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task

There has been much discussion around the topic of whether teenage children should take a part-time job during the school or not. Some people believe that it will prevent them from their main goal such as educational prosperity. Others disagree. In my view, taking a part-time job is an important experience with an enormous benefit for the children, Which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, it's important for the children to understand the value of money. Today we see the child is overprotected by parents, as they provide them with all the facilities out of love. By pursuing the part-time job the children learn how hard is it to earn money, they start calculating the number of hours they need to work to be able bye stuff. For example, my neighbor's son is twelve years old. He spends much money on everything. When he does a part-time job, he learned the value of money. Thus he spends wisely, and he starts to save money. This experience taught me that a part-time- job for children is an important experience.
Second, if children get a part-time job in a labor anther field of interest, can be inspiring for them in a special course and will help school performance. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I was in high school, I get a part-time job in a chemistry lab. Work in a lab with those elaborate laboratory equipment learned me responsibility and discipline. That job causes encounter school staff and mature self-dependence. That job helped me learn much more about chemistry, and I get A grade in the final exam. As you can see, a part-time job is essential for future children life.
In sum, students should attend to have a part-time job. Not only do they help students to understand the value of money but they also learn responsibility and their time would not be wasted.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 499, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ime job, he learned the value of money. Thus he spends wisely, and he starts to save...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, thus, for example, such as, first of all, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1515.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 322.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7049689441 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79532262109 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.549689440994 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 463.5 618.680645161 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.909307617 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.75 100.406767564 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.3 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 11.7677419355 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.68 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.