TPO 34: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.
In recent years technological advances have dramatically changed our life. It is like a coin with two sides. One side is the noticeable advantages of technology that have affected our lives in a positive way and another side is its negative consequences. In this regard, some people adhere to the view that it has made educating children an arduous task. From my own perspective, this statement is true. Among some evident reasons that support my viewpoint, I will delve into two conspicuous ones in the following paragraphs.
Regarding this issue, the most prominent point to be mentioned is the fact that new technologies especially cell phones, online games, and social networking have gained broad appeal, especially between youngsters and children. Besides these technologies are highly addictive and once a child makes a connection with those, a strong temptation makes them spend more time on those technologies and gradually it becomes a priority for them. Therefore, it is really hard to convince them to allocate more time to their study and school work. My younger sister is a compelling example of what I mean. When she was 14 we always had struggles about her overuse of the internet and not paying enough attention to her study. Those days she spent virtually 10 hours a day on the internet and it was a sheer waste of time. Consequently, she experienced a sudden decline in her grades in school.
Another equally noteworthy point coming to mind is that new technologies expose children to lots of issues and topics which may adversely affect their behavior and form their personality in a negative way and consequently make the process of educating them more difficult not only for their teachers but also for their parents. For instance, online games mostly contain violence scenes and gradually develop an aggressive and brutal behavior in children. Furthermore, some of the provided information on the internet and discussions in social networks create a misconception in children's mind that makes it difficult for teachers to educate them properly especially about their social behaviors. For instance, children are more receptive to technology rather than their parents and teachers and these technologies propel children toward a self-centered characteristic that ignores others and puts themselves first. It is really difficult for teachers to profoundly internalize some ethical concepts for children like sympathy.
In short, the previous paragraphs lead use to draw the conclusion that nowadays educating children is more difficult than it was in the past. This is mainly due to the reason that the dramatic appeal of recent technologies which is attractive for children has made them less passionate about education and it also creates misconceptions in children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...technology that have affected our lives in a positive way and another side is its negative conseq...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 616, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'had' and 'struggles'.
Suggestion: had always struggles
...mple of what I mean. When she was 14 we always had struggles about her overuse of the internet and n...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 188, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...eir behavior and form their personality in a negative way and consequently make the process of ed...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 469, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...utal behavior in children. Furthermore, some of the provided information on the internet an...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 40, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
... In short, the previous paragraphs lead use to draw the conclusion that nowadays ed...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, may, really, regarding, so, therefore, for instance, i mean, in short
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2351.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28314606742 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94985743409 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54606741573 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.4830685458 48.9658058833 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.55 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.25 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186069859322 0.236089414692 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0542384906405 0.076458572812 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0465581788247 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11418893829 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0336638615886 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 58.1214874552 70% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 10.1575268817 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.09 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 86.8835125448 142% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.