TPO 35- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Everyone has some matter that did not want others know about. There is a proverb in my country, that said ” likewise nuts that need dirt environment to grow, privacy is vital for growing and becoming valuable person”; consequently, privacy has a great importance on quality of one’s life. When it comes to this point, some people wonder whether athletes or entertainment have appropriate privacy in their life. One outstanding viewpoint insists that privacy of them is not in a desirable manner. I corroborate this idea. In what follows, I will delve into two reasons to substantiate my response.
First off, in today’s industrial world, recording facilities bloomed, such as wide variety of cameras, video recorders become achievable very easily, which unfortunately some persons use them for getting news that they want without any boundary. To illuminate my point, I would a personal example. I see recently published a photo about one who was the most popular characteristic in Television programs. The photo shows that he is used to addiction drugs, so people was indifferent towards the personal right of him or not, and they said to him you are a bad role model for our children, so you must do not play in Television programs. If others do not published this private issue, he remains a successful person, and he could leave addiction by helping of doctors, however, by doing so the situation and his credit diminished.
Second, some people do not pay attention to situation when they see famous people. In fact, day by day, the group of people know them, fifty years ago Television invited, so people who lives in a country as same as holy. In ten years ago, satellites come to our society, the large groups of people see programs of these facilities, and these programs usually invite famous people such as athletes and entertainers. Needless to say that, People like this persons and consider them for a role model, so when they see these persons in life such as in streets or shops, they wants have some memorable time such as taking photos with them. It is not matter for them is it a proper time or place. For instance, when a famous athletes comes to his family for going to shop, or walking in street, or even they have hurry to go, or in summer vacation. Therefore, its huge number of cause by social program become annoy this person.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 489, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a desirable manner" with adverb for "desirable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...int insists that privacy of them is not in a desirable manner. I corroborate this idea. In what follo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 529, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...owards the personal right of him or not, and they said to him you are a bad role ...
^^
Line 3, column 449, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ners. Needless to say that, People like this persons and consider them for a role mo...
^^^^
Line 3, column 571, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'want'
Suggestion: want
... life such as in streets or shops, they wants have some memorable time such as taking...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 719, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'athletes'' or 'athlete's'?
Suggestion: athletes'; athlete's
...e or place. For instance, when a famous athletes comes to his family for going to shop, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 807, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'hurried'.
Suggestion: hurried
...or walking in street, or even they have hurry to go, or in summer vacation. Therefore...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 870, Rule ID: OF_CAUSE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'of course' (=naturally)?
Suggestion: of course
...er vacation. Therefore, its huge number of cause by social program become annoy this per...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, likewise, second, so, therefore, for instance, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1972.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 406.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85714285714 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70069820199 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564039408867 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 624.6 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.4553516817 48.9658058833 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.555555556 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5555555556 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.38888888889 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131057606205 0.236089414692 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0390159194646 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0418567467329 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0885138541388 0.150856017488 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0121734814478 0.0645574589148 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.