TPO 40 independent writing- Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Children having good grades is always on the top of the list that what parents care about. Many people hold different perspective on how to encourage their children to study. Personally, I believe that offer their school-age children money for high grade is a feasible idea.
First of all, rewards can drive children to become perseverant. Rewards system is a simple concept, it’s a natural way to encourage people on doing certain behavior, and can easily apply on training animals. Through giving money as a rewards when children perform well in school, children can be spontaneous to study in order to get the extra allowance rather than punishing them while they didn’t perform well. When I was in elementary school, my parents also tried this method on me that if I can perform well on a certain math test, I can have NTD$500. I was thinking that if I could get the money, I would buy a new pencil box for myself which I wanted for months. Because I keep thinking about what I can do after getting the rewards, my desire became even stronger. Then, I put lots of time on preparing the test and reached the points my parents and I set.
Furthermore, children can learn the lesson that everything thing we want should gained by hard working. Lesson of don’t take anything for granted is important which related to how we cherish thing we have. As for me, after I got the pencil box I bought with my pocket money due to the math test, I’ve used the pencil box for 5 years because it was not only a product but also a certificate of my diligent. Through getting money rewards to children by setting goals, they will understand that every money or the stuff money can buy is gained by efforts. Besides, they will realize that what we live under and what we eat are coming from other people’s hard work, then cherish the life we live.
Admittedly, some people may concern that it is not appropriate to connect good grades with money because children will not enjoy the knowledge full-heartedly, and which will weaken the desire of learning if parents stop giving money. However, in my opinion, learning for children is mainly boring comparing to playing in a short term. If rewards can be a key of the entrance of knowledge, it will become an opportunity for children to find out their interest on learning.
To sum up, offering children money for each high grade they get in school is helpful to their performance and meaningful to their development.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 233, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a reward' or simply 'rewards'?
Suggestion: a reward; rewards
...aining animals. Through giving money as a rewards when children perform well in school, c...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, well, while, as for, first of all, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2039.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 434.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69815668203 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52628833862 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518433179724 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 608.4 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7475761101 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.315789474 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8421052632 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68421052632 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.330268381634 0.236089414692 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108860557576 0.076458572812 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111312341927 0.0737576698707 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.233668457819 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114355403796 0.0645574589148 177% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.28 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.