TPO 40 Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high-grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
In this progressive and sophisticated world, parents have always been concerned about their children's education. They are trying to find the best way to motivate their schoolchildren to achieve impressive academic performance. One of the controversial solutions for this concern is paying money to children for each high grade. While some people postulate that paying money can lead to great accomplishments at schools, others are against this idea. As far as I am concerned, I am of the opinion that it is not logical to use money as an incentive for motivating children to study hard. In the following paragraph, I will delve into some reasons and examples justifying my point of view.
The first noteworthy reason coming to my mind is that money provides children an external motivation that won’t last for a long time. It is undeniable fact that the process of learning is time-consuming and difficult. Young students need to dedicate a considerable amount of time practicing and learning new concepts and textbooks. Therefore, they need strong internal motivation like being interested in learning knowledge that stimulates them to study enthusiastically even when confronting backbreaking tasks. In such situations, money not only does not assist them to devote themselves to their studies but also prevents doing more effort. For instance, if money is the only incentive for them to study, they will skip difficult lessons and say we do not want money for difficult lessons.
Another exquisite point to be mentioned is that paying money to young children makes them materialistic which will adverse consequences in the future. Without any doubt, having money is really joyful for everyone including pupils, since they can purchase whatever they want. As a consequence, they study hard only to gain more money. Such young children will finally become money-oriented individuals in the future because this feature has grown inside them until their adult life, and has become strong in their minds as a pleasant incentive. For instance, if they become affluent in the future, they will not have a tendency to participate in charitable activities because they do not want to lose money.
To summarize, from what has been discussed above, it is crystal clear that money is not a reasonable and appropriate stimulus for forcing children to study hard. The first drawback of this way is since money is an external motivation, it is not sustainable. Moreover, this approach makes young children money-oriented which has negative outcomes in their future lives.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, moreover, really, so, therefore, thus, while, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2156.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 411.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24574209246 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95874151437 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537712895377 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 666.0 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.0403804327 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.8 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.55 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.260735444947 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0829717199677 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0499356715052 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170716938496 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0543031305089 0.0645574589148 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.