TPO 44: Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
As you know, it is very crucial to allocate time to spend with immediate family members as it fortifies the bases of their relationship. But unfortunately, nowadays both parents have to work in order to provide children with convenient living. They are usually a full-time employee and busy with their occupation, hence, do not have enough time to spend with their children. Regarding this issue, some people hold the view that for these parents the best use of time is to have fun playing games or sports, however, other people believe it is more beneficial to spend that time helping the children with their school assignment. Personally, I concur with the first viewpoint. Among various reasons which support my point of view, I will delve into three main reasons in the following paragraph.
First of all, the most prominent point to be mentioned is that playing with children and spending funny moments with each other enhance the intimacy between parents and children and bridge the gap between them. Intimacy forms trust in the relationship between children and parents hence, children consider their parents as their friend and share their problems with their parents and try to get over the difficulties with their help and companionship. By contrast, children who do not experience such moments with their parents won't develop a strong connection with them. They prefer to solve their problems on their own and sometimes run into more serious problems. Hence, it is of great importance that parents play with their children even if they have limited time.
Furthermore, according to psychological studies playing games with children has a direct impact on their creativity. Playing a game is an active learning process in which children learn how to interact with their surrounding environment and spark creative ideas for how to play a game. As a personal experience, when I was 10 years old, my father used to play brain teaser with me whenever he has free time. During the game, he shared his own experience of how to use different techniques to win the game. Those experiences actually helped me to develop my logical abilities and learn how to think about a problem and create a solution and come up with a new idea. Besides, it helped me to create a strong tie with my father. Also, I think a private tutor could help children with their school work but nobody could play the role of parents of giving attention and affection to children and having fun times with them.
For short, contemplating the previous paragraphs, I think it is reasonable to draw the conclusion that it is far better that parents spent their leisure time with their children and play with them rather than help them with their school assignments. This approach not only fortifies their family tie and intimacy but also have positive impacts on children's cognitive abilities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 796, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ain reasons in the following paragraph. First of all, the most prominent point t...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, regarding, so, as for, i think, you know, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2391.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 480.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98125 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61220093982 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502083333333 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.9749083656 48.9658058833 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.55 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.41408334488 0.236089414692 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139833898042 0.076458572812 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.116472783561 0.0737576698707 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.280131086869 0.150856017488 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115446820786 0.0645574589148 179% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.