TPO 5 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today’s progressive world, we live with the hectic life; every one of us is experiencing, human beings’ demands and desires have changed drastically. While some people stand to reason that all of us have been created to accomplish one main goal-which is happiness-, others stand at the other side of this continuum and believe that life is not meant to be for mere pleasure. Personally speaking, I firmly hold the view that in today’s revolutionary era, compared to actions that should be done, people consider their personal gratification as the main priority, the reasons of which will be vindicated in the following paragraphs.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that having experienced the hustle and bustle of life, nowadays people are looking for a means of escape in order to feel a sense of relief. Today’s new generation assumes that life is unbelievably short, and most of them stigmatize individuals torturing themselves to gain more money at the expense of ignoring their joy and happiness. Having interviewed various groups of people with a diverse age range, Thomas Adam, a sociologist at Arizona State University, has found that both the old and the new generations unanimously agreed upon this very fact that humankind had been created to be filled with happiness and nothing is better than enjoying one’s life in the way that it is meant to be. Although people at every corner of the globe are experiencing economic pressure which makes them work twice as harder as they had before, most of them turn a blind eye to this unforgiving situation, and as a result, they prefer to have a life fused with pleasure and ecstasy.
The second equally significant reason which is worth mentioning is the idea that with the advancement in technology and equipment facilitating our lives, earning money is not as hard as it used to be. If there were a time machine through which we could observe centuries ago, it would be apparent that easy money was not paid to anyone at that time. However, with the genesis of technology and the internet particularly, people can earn money quickly and effortlessly with no special training or expertise; the so-called e-marketing phenomenon, for instance, in which there is no toil and hardship. This is the reason that people’s desire and needs have dramatically changed compared to people from the preceding descendants for whom several other priorities than pleasure and joy existed. To put it in a more vivid picture, when my grandfather was told that I spent more than half of my savings on a simple trip to Russia in order to participate and watch the World Cup competition, he astoundingly asked me the reason and when I said, “I just wanted to have fun”, he became even more surprised. It sounds as though people in this era are more inclined to do things for their own pleasure, rather than things they should be doing.
To conclude, considering the reasons as mentioned earlier, people assume life is not about doing things contrary to what one wants. They spend more time on their enjoyment activities rather than their obligatory actions, because of the changes emerged not only at people’s lifestyle but also the changes in the way people earn their subsistence.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, second, so, while, as to, for instance, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 15.1003584229 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.0286738351 209% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2736.0 1977.66487455 138% => OK
No of words: 546.0 407.700716846 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01098901099 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83390555256 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8638176939 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 294.0 212.727598566 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.538461538462 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 862.2 618.680645161 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 36.0 20.1344086022 179% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.0296459115 48.9658058833 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 182.4 100.406767564 182% => OK
Words per sentence: 36.4 20.6045352989 177% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.86666666667 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189878762825 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0716722131786 0.076458572812 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0732314519778 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128816052057 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0598685689988 0.0645574589148 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.4 11.7677419355 173% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.94 58.1214874552 60% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.3 10.1575268817 170% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.37 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.44 8.01818996416 118% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 86.8835125448 160% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.4 10.0537634409 163% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.