TPO26(independent)
It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents jobs.
It is a highly controversial issue whether or not children would benefit if they chose a vocation similar to their parents and this topic can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. While some people tend think that having same profession does not guarantee any specific advancement for the children, others would agree that if children and parents have identical vocation it would assist them a lot in future. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that it is better for both parents and children to have similar profession and following discussion reveals my stand and justification.
To commence, my first subtle point, which requires to be mentioned is that as parents could pave the way of success for their children, it is more wisely for the children to select a major related to their parents. In that case, the children have an opportunity to learn many knowledge in advance, from their parents. Definitely, they are good sources for the children's questions and parents are able to give useful suggestions to their children.
Another substantial explanation that can be taken into consideration is that if children follow their parents’ occupation, it might be useful for parents too. There would be always a good topic for conversation among the children and their parents, also they could interact with each other better, as a result, the possible gap between the two generations would be filled. Most of the parents do not like that gap to be existed. What is more, as children will get fresh knowledge about that vocation, therefore, they will help the parents to be up to date.
To recapitulate briefly, based on the aforementioned elucidation, I am in conviction that being professional in similar subjects brings excellent features for both children and their parents. This is not to say that other viewpoints are completely without merits. However, I believe that the testimonies I provided in favour of my opinion are stronger.
flaws:
Need one more paragraph for arguments, like:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
You can apply reasons like 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' to all essay/speaking topics.
There are some pattern sentences in your essays. ETS in TOEFL exams may figure them out and give lower marks. Better to have your own language gradually.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1612 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.975 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.771 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.144 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5