TPO40
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think it is a good idea?
Education is one of the most important factors in our lives. Genuinely, it determines that how much our society is successful. This issue whether or not how parents should react against their children’s grades has engendered a copious controversies among people. Although a certain conclusion cannot be made, I, to a great extent, hold this viewpoint that giving some money as a gift to children for their good grades is very beneficial. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs.
The first reason that juts out of my mind easily at the first moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that offering students money will encourage them to study their lessons more effectively. In other words, all human being needs some impetus to accomplish her or his duties more accurately. Therefore, this money will motivate learners to do their assignments precisely, and get high scores, which is so helpful in their future, since almost all companies are willing to hire individuals who have had excellent grades during their education. To shed more light on this matter, the noteworthy statistics revealed by a recently conducted research in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) shown that students who receive money for their high scores, will become more successful not only in their studies, but also in their future careers. Therefore, it is highly recommended that parents induce their children to study hard.
The second and equally exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that it has an undeniable influence on their personality. Genuinely, these students who are received money during their education, have some special characteristics, which are very crucial in the present time and lead to the future success. For instance, they are able to manage their overcome and spend their money for worthwhile subjects. Furthermore, they have more self-confidence rather than the other students, and they are able to express their notions and defend them against other individuals who are disagree with them. To give a tangible example, consider a student who accumulate a hoard of money because of his grades. He knows that this asset is precious since he has studied very hard to gain each of those high scores. Therefore, we he decide to spend it for something, he evaluate all positive and negative aspects of it and tries to make the best choose. In other words, he improve his managing ability unconsciously. Consequently, the more the parents pay attention to this kind of prizes, the more their children will benefit.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that it can be more beneficial for students if their high grades be appreciated by their parents. This contention is due to the fact that by doing so, not only do they provoke to study harder but also they would achieve some profitable abilities, which vitally important in their lives.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 139, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...h our society is successful. This issue whether or not how parents should react against their ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 241, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'controversy'?
Suggestion: controversy
...'s grades has engendered a copious controversies among people. Although a certain conclu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 624, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[5]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recently conducted research'.
Suggestion: recently conducted research
..., the noteworthy statistics revealed by a recently conducted research in the Massachusetts Institute of Techn...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 585, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...d defend them against other individuals who are disagree with them. To give a tangible ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 593, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'disagreed'.
Suggestion: disagreed
... them against other individuals who are disagree with them. To give a tangible example, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 835, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'decides'.
Suggestion: decides
... of those high scores. Therefore, we he decide to spend it for something, he evaluate ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 872, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'evaluates'.
Suggestion: evaluates
...he decide to spend it for something, he evaluate all positive and negative aspects of it...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 975, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'improves'.
Suggestion: improves
...ake the best choose. In other words, he improve his managing ability unconsciously. Con...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, may, second, so, therefore, while, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, in other words, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2546.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 497.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12273641851 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80892085959 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 212.727598566 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533199195171 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 791.1 618.680645161 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.621439565 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.238095238 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.38095238095 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246536502023 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0744802270294 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0596411663834 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159591728925 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0242971681955 0.0645574589148 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 86.8835125448 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.