Your city or province has received a large donation of money to improve the education of children. It must choose between spending the money on improvement of early childhood education (for children ages 4 to 7) and spending the money on the improvement of education for older children (ages 11 to 14). Which do you think is the better option? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer
It is critically important that children belonging to all age groups get the same quality of education. In my opinion, I strongly believe that older children require special care than younger ones so I'll spend the money received as donations to improve the education of older children. I feel this way for two reasons which I'll explore further in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, older children require more study materials that are of high cost, for their education than younger ones. In addition to that these children have to study more number of subjects that require a variety of materials such as notebooks, pens, books, and many more. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. My friend still feels bad for not studying beyond the age of 10. His father stopped him from going to school as he could not afford the money. If the school my friend studied had sufficient funding then it might have provided him the things he needed to study. But many schools could not give their students, study materials for free because of paucity in funding. So, because of these reasons I felt donated money should be spent on educating older children. It should be noted that on the other hand, children in their kindergarten class do not require books and other materials.
Secondly, teachers who are capable of teaching the subjects that children in the age group of 10-14 ask more salary than kindergarten teachers. Moreover, these people are usually well-educated and they feel that they deserve a higher salary for their education and the time they spend with children. For instance, in the majority of the schools, the time spent by older children is more than the younger ones. To encourage the teachers to spend a larger part of the time with children and keep them motivated towards their work, they should be paid more which involves a lot more for the school. Accordingly, I would spend more money on older education for providing the teachers a good amount of money as salary.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that more amount of money should be used for developing the education of older children than younger children. This is because their education requires more number of items and the teachers who teach them expect more salary.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: ILL_I_LL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I'll'?
Suggestion: I'll
...uires special care than younger ones so Ill spend the money recieved as donation to...
^^^
Line 1, column 207, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Ill) must be used with a third-person verb: 'spends'.
Suggestion: spends
...s special care than younger ones so Ill spend the money recieved as donation to impro...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 326, Rule ID: ILL_I_LL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I'll'?
Suggestion: I'll
.... I feel this way for two reasons which Ill explore further in the subsequent parag...
^^^
Line 3, column 470, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to school as he could not afford money. If the school my friend studied had suffic...
^^
Line 3, column 707, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...e of pausity in funding. So, because of this reasons I felt donated money should be ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, well, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1883.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91644908616 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48070631824 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477806788512 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 570.6 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.3190692646 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.1052631579 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1578947368 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.42105263158 5.45110844103 173% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.290556580056 0.236089414692 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100162581315 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0902741799916 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.205581062974 0.150856017488 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0473890545018 0.0645574589148 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.