Essay topics: TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task
In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in electronic databases rather than on paper. It is argued that storing patients' medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based record keeping.
Reducing Costs
First, the use of electronic records can help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records. While paper records require a significant amount of storage space, electronic medical records take up virtually no space. Moreover, by having patients' records computerized in databases, doctors can easily access the records from almost anywhere and can easily duplicate and transfer them when necessary. This costs much less than copying, faxing, or transporting paper records from one location to another.
Preventing Errors
Second, electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical errors. Illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data, and nonstandard organization of paper records have caused errors that in some cases have had serious consequences for the patients* health. In contrast, electronic records are associated with standardization of forms and legible computer fonts and thus minimize the possibility of human error.
Aiding Research
Third, electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research by making it possible to gather large amounts of data from patient records. It is often impractical, impossible, or prohibitively expensive to manually go through thousands of patients’ paper records housed in doctors' offices. However, with the existence of electronic medical records, it would be simple to draw out the needed information from the medical databases because the databases are already formatted for data collection. Once in the electronic system, the records could be accessed from any research location.
both the author and the lecturer discuss whether paper record should be substituted by electronic databases or not. The passage claims that the advantages of electronic databases outweigh the advantages of traditional paper-based record keeping. The professor, on the other hand, reject whatever mentioned in the reading through citing three reasons.
First, both the author and the professor talk about costs of storing and transfering. According to the passage, paper records need significant amount of space to storage. In addition, the costs of faxing or transporting paper records are much in compared with electronic databases. The lecturer, nevertheless, rejects the author's view and illustrates the idea that doctors who adopt with electronic devices keep paper records as an emergency backup, so the costs of paper records are not removed at all.
Second of all, both the reading and the lecture discuss errors occurrence. The author argues that errors which occur as a result of illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data and so on, have serious consequences for the patient's health. However, the professor refutes this, saying that paper are still used to take notes. After taking notes, someone transmits information written by doctor to electronic databases. Therefore, the possibility of human errors such as mistakes as a result of poor handwriting still exists.
Eventually, the passage and the lecture address the subject of medical research. The passage goes on to mention that researchers simply could draw out the needed information from data collection when they collect in electronic databases. In contrast, the professor points out that because of strict privacy law, accessibility to patient's information is not easy in United States and researchers have to follow strict procedure to obtain permission. In some cases, patients do not permit researchers to benefit from their medical records.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Both
both the author and the lecturer discuss whe...
^^^^
Line 9, column 232, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'patients'' or 'patient's'?
Suggestion: patients'; patient's
...o on, have serious consequences for the patients health. However, the professor refutes ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, nevertheless, second, so, still, therefore, in addition, in contrast, such as, as a result, in some cases, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 10.4613686534 48% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 5.04856512141 59% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 7.30242825607 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 22.412803532 40% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 30.3222958057 145% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 5.01324503311 160% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1648.0 1373.03311258 120% => OK
No of words: 295.0 270.72406181 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.58644067797 5.08290768461 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88864481864 2.5805825403 112% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 145.348785872 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.576271186441 0.540411800872 107% => OK
syllable_count: 500.4 419.366225166 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 2.5761589404 233% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 13.0662251656 122% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 21.2450331126 85% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.945409596 49.2860985944 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.0 110.228320801 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4375 21.698381199 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 7.06452816374 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.27373068433 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.502074079633 0.272083759551 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.141792989298 0.0996497079465 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0919975095023 0.0662205650399 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.261037989359 0.162205337803 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0715846716731 0.0443174109184 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 13.3589403974 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 53.8541721854 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.0289183223 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.14 12.2367328918 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.24 8.42419426049 110% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 63.6247240618 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.498013245 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.