In the United States medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms However there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in ele | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in electronic databases rather than on paper. It is argued that storing patients’ medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based record keeping.

Reducing Costs

First, the use of electronic records can help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records. While paper records require a significant amount of storage space, electronic medical records take up virtually no space. Moreover, by having patients’ records computerized in databases, doctors can easily access the records from almost anywhere and can easily duplicate and transfer them when necessary. This costs much less than copying, faxing, or transporting paper records from one location to another.

Preventing Errors

Second, electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical errors. Illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data, and nonstandard organization of paper records have caused errors that in some cases have had serious consequences for the patients’ health. In contrast, electronic records are associated with standardization of forms and legible computer fonts and thus minimize the possibility of human error.

Aiding Research

Third, electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research by making it possible to gather large amounts of data from patient records. It is often impractical, impossible, or prohibitively expensive to manually go through thousands of patients’ paper records housed in doctors’ offices. However, with the existence of electronic medical records, it would be simple to draw out the needed information from the medical databases because the databases are already formatted for data collection. Once in the electronic system, the records could be accessed from any research location.

According to the passage, arguments about the advantages of storing medical records in electronic form over traditional paper-based form are made with evidence. However, the lecturer opposes this idea and further points out the problems of each point mentioned in the article.
First, the article suggests that using electrical records helps reduce costs since money can be saved in storing and transferring these records. As opposed to the claim, the professor states that money won't be saved as keeping data in electronic form still requires a storage fee. He adds that the hospital still has to store and keep the data.
Secondly, the author of the passage states that errors can be prevented if electronic medical records are applied because they follow strict standards in the computer, which minimize human error that could render serious health issues. But the lecturer rebuts that doctors still use pen and paper to write medical records in many situations. If the staff responsible for inputting the handwritten records into the computer system makes mistakes due to poor handwriting, it will cause the same trouble.
Thirdly, the passage maintains that electronic medical records help research in the field since data can be collected more easily thanks to the database. In contrast, the professor argues that it is difficult to obtain the records as they are under the protection of privacy law in the US. Patients are often unwilling to share their medical records for other uses other than for their own medical treatments. Besides, it always takes a complex procedure for researchers to get permission to access the documents they want.

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Integrated TOEFL Writing

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, as to, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 5.04856512141 99% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 22.412803532 89% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 30.3222958057 102% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1392.0 1373.03311258 101% => OK
No of words: 266.0 270.72406181 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23308270677 5.08290768461 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03850299372 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56775448729 2.5805825403 100% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 145.348785872 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.609022556391 0.540411800872 113% => OK
syllable_count: 427.5 419.366225166 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 13.0662251656 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 21.2450331126 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.5902625514 49.2860985944 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.0 110.228320801 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1666666667 21.698381199 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.08333333333 7.06452816374 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 4.19205298013 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.302780553819 0.272083759551 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0984810028199 0.0996497079465 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0826759591134 0.0662205650399 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16879478882 0.162205337803 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0423553462528 0.0443174109184 96% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 13.3589403974 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 53.8541721854 91% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.0289183223 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.2367328918 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.54 8.42419426049 113% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 63.6247240618 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.498013245 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, as to, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments