The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
The parent is claiming that, if school will not change the vendor then, there will be serious helth consequences for students. If changing the cafeteria from low-fat, low-calorie meal to regular meal can cause health issues, then in my opinion parent is misguided, or assuming many informations.
Firstly, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to Swift Nutrition, in order to privide students healthy food. As per the parent's claim, the students are not enjoying the food, because his or her son, as well as some other friend's of son are complaining about that. From the letter is is not clear that, how may students did not like the food. Moreover, the complaints were about lunch options, not about quality of the food, or taste of the food. If there are just few students, who are complaining, then there must be something wrong with their eating habits.
Secondly, the parent is claiming that, if Switf will not replaced by other vendor then, students will bring their own, less helthy lunches. The school tranfered the food provider form cafeteria to Swift Nutrition, to provide them healthy diet, so it seems that the food from cafeteria was less healthy. Although, if students will bring own unhealthy food then there might be consequences, but how can it be so worse then before, as the cafeteria food was also not so better when the health is concerned. In addtion, if students are bringing their own food, then they must be bringing from home, and if patrent is certain in his claim, then students must be eating unhealthy, junk food at home itself. Thus, regardless of school's decision about changing vendor, will not affect their preference over unhealthy meal.
Lastly, the parent is suggesting to change the vendor, not to reestablish the old cafeteria. If the school and parent is concern about the health if students, then another healthy, organic food provide will not be much different, the Swift Nutrition. Instead of pointing the problem with current vendor, how can school find another vendor with the hope that problem will solve.
To sum up, the letter from parent might came in good hope for all the students, but it lacks many informations to back his or her claim in the provided situation. There are some futile solutions suggetsed by parent, whcih does not have any solid base. Thus, whithout getting the same complaints from other parents and students, as well as without getting the core of the problem, the school management should not take any step regarding provision of food.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The parent is claiming that, if school will not change the vendor then, there will be serious helth consequences for students.
Error: helth Suggestion: health
Sentence: Firstly, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to Swift Nutrition, in order to privide students healthy food.
Error: privide Suggestion: provide
Sentence: Secondly, the parent is claiming that, if Switf will not replaced by other vendor then, students will bring their own, less helthy lunches.
Error: helthy Suggestion: healthy
Sentence: The school tranfered the food provider form cafeteria to Swift Nutrition, to provide them healthy diet, so it seems that the food from cafeteria was less healthy.
Error: tranfered Suggestion: transferred
Sentence: In addtion, if students are bringing their own food, then they must be bringing from home, and if patrent is certain in his claim, then students must be eating unhealthy, junk food at home itself.
Error: addtion Suggestion: addition
Error: patrent Suggestion: parent
Sentence: There are some futile solutions suggetsed by parent, whcih does not have any solid base.
Error: whcih Suggestion: which
Error: suggetsed Suggestion: suggested
Sentence: Thus, whithout getting the same complaints from other parents and students, as well as without getting the core of the problem, the school management should not take any step regarding provision of food.
Error: whithout Suggestion: without
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2042 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.793 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.367 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.791 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 303, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: is
...complaining about that. From the letter is is not clear that, how may students did no...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 58, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'replace'
Suggestion: replace
...ent is claiming that, if Switf will not replaced by other vendor then, students will bri...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 411, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'worse than'?
Suggestion: worse than
...t be consequences, but how can it be so worse then before, as the cafeteria food was also ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 417, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...onsequences, but how can it be so worse then before, as the cafeteria food was also ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, as well as, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2117.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96948356808 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47381869262 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478873239437 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 605.7 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.4405289743 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.611111111 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.83333333333 5.70786347227 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238946318456 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0881844927288 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0714193249875 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149186272436 0.128457276422 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0411578480225 0.0628817314937 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.