TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Adulthooh is a major part of our life that every body should prepare well for that from childhood. one the most important factore which influence in our life in adulthood and beyound that is kind of job that we chose and will do for living. some believe that children do not need to be familiar with working and jobs when thaey are young, however I do believe that it is one the best and easiest way to help children to get ready to enter this imortant period of their lives. There are several convincieng reassons for this idea.
Firast. working as a perdiem in part time job position help children to be familiar with making money. money is one of the most important factor to make a good life. it is one goal, and to reach this goal they try to undrestand how they can fill thier time well. they will figure out that they should do something valuable for some one or themselves to get money reciprocally. I remember when I was i n middle school at some weekends my father encourage me to help my uncle in his store to do some small job like cleaning or coustumer service and after that he paid me based on my working. that exprience taught me waht is the meaning of efficiency and yield. that learning encourage me to think more about value of my time at taht age.
Second, children who they get involved in job at early age have the good opportunity to know more about different feild of practice sooner. Therefor, they manage better to chose their major in later. one of my friends in high school who worked in different job positions each summer vacation told me about his great experiance in different field like marketing, pharmacy, auto mechanic repair and some more which he had tried befor collage. he spoke about them enthusiatically and was thankful of his parents who gave him this chance. Beside he had amde a good connection with some businessman and manager in his community, he was very determined about his major, maketing, causse he found his interst when he worked in that job. it is other benefit of part time job for childeren which they know more about their interest.
As a conclusion, I am in for of this idea that childeren take advantage of doing some part time jobs when they have the chance in thier free time like as summer vacation. this a good opportunity fore them to find their interest and get familliar with different majors. it will be usefull if parents pay more attention to get their childeren to work as a part time job as soon as they can cope with that.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...d prepare well for that from childhood. one the most important factore which influe...
^^^
Line 1, column 217, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eyound that is kind of job that we chose and will do for living. some believe tha...
^^
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
... that we chose and will do for living. some believe that children do not need to be...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...incieng reassons for this idea. Firast. working as a perdiem in part tim...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Working
...ns for this idea. Firast. working as a perdiem in part time job position ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 39, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... Firast. working as a perdiem in part time job position help children to be famili...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 110, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Money
...ldren to be familiar with making money. money is one of the most important factor to ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 173, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...t important factor to make a good life. it is one goal, and to reach this goal the...
^^
Line 7, column 270, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...tand how they can fill thier time well. they will figure out that they should do som...
^^^^
Line 7, column 334, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'someone'?
Suggestion: someone
...t they should do something valuable for some one or themselves to get money reciprocally...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 597, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...er that he paid me based on my working. that exprience taught me waht is the meaning...
^^^^
Line 7, column 655, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ght me waht is the meaning of efficiency and yield. that learning encourage me to...
^^
Line 7, column 668, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...s the meaning of efficiency and yield. that learning encourage me to think more abo...
^^^^
Line 7, column 682, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to encourage'
Suggestion: to encourage
...of efficiency and yield. that learning encourage me to think more about value of my time...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e about value of my time at taht age. Second, children who they get involved i...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 207, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...e better to chose their major in later. one of my friends in high school who worked...
^^^
Line 9, column 448, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
... more which he had tried befor collage. he spoke about them enthusiatically and wa...
^^
Line 9, column 737, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...his interst when he worked in that job. it is other benefit of part time job for c...
^^
Line 9, column 760, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ked in that job. it is other benefit of part time job for childeren which they know more ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...know more about their interest. As a conclusion, I am in for of this ide...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 92, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... childeren take advantage of doing some part time jobs when they have the chance in thier...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 177, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...hier free time like as summer vacation. this a good opportunity fore them to find th...
^^^^
Line 15, column 275, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...nd get familliar with different majors. it will be usefull if parents pay more att...
^^
Line 15, column 360, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ion to get their childeren to work as a part time job as soon as they can cope with that....
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, second, so, thus, well, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.0286738351 209% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2060.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 456.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.51754385965 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39774628556 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486842105263 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 648.0 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7542729669 48.9658058833 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.0 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.2 5.45110844103 40% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 24.0 5.5376344086 433% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213181334547 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0743988309736 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0482096047965 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151429082917 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0444417724396 0.0645574589148 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.23 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.15 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.