The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
In the argument mentioned above, it is said that the level of stimulation in individuals is a result of birth order. It is argued that all things in this argument are associated with birth order. With accurate look, we can see that this argument has some weaknesses, and they should be amended.
Firstly, we can see that only 18 monkeys from one species are used in this study. This volume of data is not enough for gaining any results. To strengthen the argument more monkeys from different species should be used. Additionally, other kinds of animals can be used for a better conclusion.
Secondly, it is said that firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol compared to their younger siblings. This can have different reasons that one of them is birth order. But there is no evidence that this factor is the main reason for increasing hormone secretion in first-born infants. They may produce more hormone cortisol because of their first exposure to an unfamiliar situation. This can also be correct for first-time mother monkeys that experience pregnancy for the first time.
In conclusion, I believe that this argument needs more research and it should be done on different animals with various species. Different factors can have a contribution to increase hormone secretion. Birth order and first – exposure to a new situation are two influential factors but they are not the only ones.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1198.0 2260.96107784 53% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 240.0 441.139720559 54% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99166666667 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.93597934253 4.56307096286 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65297265136 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 127.0 204.123752495 62% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.529166666667 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 370.8 705.55239521 53% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 23.5101869174 57.8364921388 41% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 79.8666666667 119.503703932 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.53333333333 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0779153889269 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0340962545755 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464533787417 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0536741012221 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0328525543952 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 98.500998004 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.