An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Recently, it was discovered that there is a Vitamin A deficiency among people in the nation of Tagus. To overcome this problem, an international development organization developed a new breed of millet which has content of Vitamin A. The author of the argument believes that this new breed of millet could help to overcome this problem and that the government of Tagus should promote this new breed of millet. In support of their argument, the author has also provided some facts, however, this argument is based on a lot of unattended assumptions, lack of evidence and vague terminologies and thus has a lot of faults that makes it unconvincing.
The author has stated that there is a Vitamin A deficiency in people of Tagus, but has not provided the source of this information. Since the number of people is not provided, it is not correct to consider most of the population of Tagus to be Vitamin A deficient. It may also be possible that the study from which this fact was derived was limited in scope. May be the people under study were having low Vitamin A but in general majority of the people in Tagus do not have this deficiency. Therefore, the fact that people of Tagus have Vitamin A deficiency is vague.
Also considering that majority of people have this deficiency, and new breed of crops are a good alternative, there is no evidence to support the fact that this new breed of millet would grow properly in Tagus. It is possible that the soil of Tagus would not support the growth of this new breed of millet or the weather conditions might not be suitable.
It is also assumed that the people of Tagus would readily accept this new breed of millet. Since the cost of these new seeds are high, it would lead to the final price of the crop being high. Now even if the government provide subsidies to the farmers, the end consumer would still have to pay more. Also it is possible that this new crop could have some side effects and therefore people may not accept it. Also it is possible that some different crop may help fight this problem.
In conclusion, it may be true that this new breed of millet may be the best solution to help fight this problem, the author has not provided compelling argument to support it. There are many faults in the argument provided and the author should do further studies and give more facts to make their statement convincing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 1916 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.519 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.429 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.389 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.607 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.175 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...f the population of Tagus to be Vitamin A deficient. It may also be possible that the study...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 364, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...t was derived was limited in scope. May be the people under study were having low ...
^^
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: A_BUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a bit'?
Suggestion: A bit
...ple under study were having low Vitamin A but in general majority of the people in Ta...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...s have Vitamin A deficiency is vague. Also considering that majority of people hav...
^^^^
Line 7, column 301, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... consumer would still have to pay more. Also it is possible that this new crop could...
^^^^
Line 7, column 409, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...and therefore people may not accept it. Also it is possible that some different crop...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, thus, in conclusion, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1960.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 424.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62264150943 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52264574307 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.382075471698 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 621.0 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.4313705818 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.888888889 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5555555556 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.55555555556 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.402086411065 0.218282227539 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15870621138 0.0743258471296 214% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0990237506734 0.0701772020484 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.243676567462 0.128457276422 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0728868328285 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.5979740519 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.24 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.