The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
__________
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The author of this argument lacks to sufficiently justify his/her stance on numerous occasions. Firstly, the parent talks about his son and several of his friends regarding the students not enjoying their low calorie, low-fat meals. The term several is defined according to the understanding of the author, hence the author needs to provide more evidence to surmise the notion for a wide range of children. Secondly, the goal of shifting to Swift Nutrition was making kids eat healthy food which is being fulfilled by the vendor for some population in school. Thirdly, the author fails to justify that his/her son and his/her son's friends eat healthy food at home or on any other occasion which implies changing the vendor will have little impact.
The author's son and his friends may not enjoy food served by Swift Nutrition because on a general basis they do not eat such food, as these children don't have the habit they would require some time to adjust to the new habits of eating healthy. Making a claim for the wide population such as a large portion of the student population at school requires significant evidence, which the author fails to provide. Hence, the author's stance for the replacement of Swift Nutrition is flawed.
A trade off between healthy and enjoyable always exist when we talk about food. But the author also fails to define enjoyable, enjoyable could very well imply that the food although do not tastes bad, it just doesn't taste great as less healthier foods and if that is the case then the author conclusion is weakened. The primary goal of eating healthy is being fullfilled by good tasty foods. The author need to provide clarity in defining the term enjoyable in order to strengthen his/her postion. Further, although if we assume the deduction stated are true according to the author, replacing vendor could still tilt on any side, there is perhaps a high chance that the author's son and his several friends may not like the healthy food served by the other vendor. Hence, the conclusion of the argument anyhow is unwarranted unless additional context regaridng the eatinghabits of the author's son and his several friends is provided.
The author as faisl to justify numeorus of his/her deduction, the argument as wellas the conclusion is lekely to fall apart.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 1875 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.747 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.398 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.481 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 602, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hirdly, the author fails to justify that his/her son and his/her sons friends eat...
^^
Line 3, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... vendor will have little impact. The authors son and his friends may not enjoy food ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 150, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...do not eat such food, as these children dont have the habit they would require some ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...the author fails to provide. Hence, the authors stance for the replacement of Swift Nut...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: DONT_NEEDS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'taste'?
Suggestion: taste
...ell imply that the food although do not tastes bad, it just doesnt taste great as less...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ood although do not tastes bad, it just doesnt taste great as less healthier foods and...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 232, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...stes bad, it just doesnt taste great as less healthier foods and if that is the case then the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 543, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her, although if we assume the deduction stated are true according to the author,...
^^
Line 5, column 673, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...there is perhaps a high chance that the authors son and his several friends may not lik...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 887, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ntext regaridng the eatinghabits of the authors son and his several friends is provided...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...conclusion is lekely to fall apart.
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1921.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 388.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95103092784 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45256166495 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510309278351 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 575.1 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.2218122167 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.066666667 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8666666667 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86666666667 5.70786347227 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0785334122218 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0325292817324 0.0743258471296 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0417885727468 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0501161748809 0.128457276422 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0425608381316 0.0628817314937 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.