60. The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice for a client.
"Most homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last heating season that region experienced 90 days with below-normal temperatures, and climate forecasters predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes are being built in the region in response to recent population growth. Because of these trends, we predict an increased demand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil."
The author proposes that, owing to increasing demand for heating oil, we should invest in Consolidated Industries whose major business operation is the retail sale of home heating oil. To buttress his/her argument, the author cites the following evidence: first, weather pattern of typically cold winters would continue for the several more years; second, there is increasingly number of newly built home in this region during the past year. The careful examination of evidences provided by the author indicates that none of the them contributes to the credibility of the argument.
To begin with, the validity of the climate forecasters at Waymarsh University, which claim that the cold winters would last in the next few years, is questionable. The author fails to provide the detailed information about prediction methods and procedures, the data they used to make prediction and the reputation of individuals who participate in this prediction. If the researchers used out-dated prediction approach, the result is readily inclined to refute. Furthermore, even if they follow the most rigid approach, the reality can somehow deviate from the prediction. Therefore, the author’s conclusion with regarding to more heating oil demand based on this prediction is unwarranted.
Furthermore, the newly constructed homes in this area during the past years do not necessarily manifest the enhanced demand for heating oil. It is likely that these new homes utilize innovative technology for heating during the winter, such as electricity or solar energy. In this case, the demand for heating oil is stable. In addition, the old households may search for more efficient ways of obtaining heat, and thus discontinue to use oil as fuel for heating. In conclusion, the assumption that the more homes in this region, the more usage of heating oil is fallacious.
Last but not least, the author assumes that people can make profit by investing in Consolidated Industries due to increase demand in heating oil. While such an assumption may seem reliable at first glance, no definite evidence has been offered to back it. If the Consolidated Industries begin revolute starting this year, instead of putting major business operations into the retail sale of home heating oil, they distribute more money to the high-speed growing technology companies, so that the variation of the demand for heating oil have no direct relationship to Consolidated Industries.
To sum up, as it stands, the evidences are relied on several flawed assumptions that weaken its validity. To strengthen the author’s argument, the author is recommended to offer the evidences as follows: first, the prediction that the weather pattern remains the same is supported and proven by numerous experts; second, both new and old homes insist to warm their houses by heating oil and would continue do so for several more years; third, Consolidated Industries would still allocate majority of their business operation in the retail sale of home heating oil and such business strategy is remunerative.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 484 350
No. of Characters: 2511 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.69 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.188 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.785 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.843 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 526, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'them'?
Suggestion: the; them
...ed by the author indicates that none of the them contributes to the credibility of the a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 465, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ontinue to use oil as fuel for heating. In conclusion, the assumption that the mor...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, may, regarding, second, so, still, then, therefore, third, thus, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2594.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 483.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.37060041408 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68799114503 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89975130416 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501035196687 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 812.7 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 102.9619521 57.8364921388 178% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.111111111 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.8333333333 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.70786347227 158% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0932905539823 0.218282227539 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0369194375657 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0298188054933 0.0701772020484 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0613345295876 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0359109288715 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.3 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.