"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
The advertising director claims that agreater sgare of Super Screen's budget should be allocated for advertising. To support his claims, he says that, a recent report of marketing department during the past year has shown that fewer people attended the Super-Screen produced movies. Futher, he says that percentage of positiive reviews for a specific movie has increased during the same year. Thus, he thought that problem is not with the quality of the movie, it is with the advertising. However, director's line of reasoning is fraught with erroneous logics and conclusions, the argument is flawed.
First of all, author has cited the data of past year. It does not convince director's claim. One year data is not representative to make any claim. It could be possible that, in the past year there were a natural disaster in the country hence his movies were not watched. It might be possible that, there was a major election last year or a strike by Cinema theaters. In these cases also, fewer people would have attended the Super-Screen produced movie. And also, what is authencity of the data provided by Marketing department. There is a possibility that his data are not representative to conclude any decision.
Futhermore, the director has provided the percentage of positive reviews of a specific movie, that has increased last year. How can a specific movie's positive reviews can decide the quality, the advertisement of all super-screen produced movies. There is nothing mentioned about the topic of that particular specific movie, and what type of movies generally Super-Screen produced. If it generally produce action movies and last year's movie was not an action, it was a short story based on history of America, and it was popular among Americans, hence received positive reviews. Last but not the least, It is also not mentioned about the what percentage of reviews are positives and what are the actual number of reviews ?
In summary, the director's claims fall shorts in many aspects. The director did start with a sound premise, but it lacked the necessay data to support and strengthen his argument. If had talked about the past year country's political environment in which his movie released, quality of his movies then director's thought process in progressing from the premise to the stated conclusion would not have been so abrupt and jarring. Additionally, the inclusion of more data about the specific movie that has received positive reviews, type of this movie, what are differences and similarities of this movie with the general Super-Screen produced movies, what are total number of data whose what percentage positive reviews received this movie, these all would have helped director to drive home his point in a far convincing manner and established his position without a shred of doubt. But, in the absence of these, the argument remains flawed.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Futher, he says that percentage of p
Sentence: The advertising director claims that agreater sgare of Super Screen's budget should be allocated for advertising.
Error: sgare Suggestion: share
Error: agreater Suggestion: greater
Sentence: Futher, he says that percentage of positiive reviews for a specific movie has increased during the same year.
Error: positiive Suggestion: positive
Sentence: And also, what is authencity of the data provided by Marketing department.
Error: authencity Suggestion: authority
Sentence: How can a specific movie's positive reviews can decide the quality, the advertisement of all super-screen produced movies.
Error: super-screen Suggestion: super screen
Sentence: The director did start with a sound premise, but it lacked the necessay data to support and strengthen his argument.
Error: necessay Suggestion: necessary
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- ???
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minimum 3 arguments wanted.
the conclusion is too long
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-taken-me…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2358 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.006 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.682 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.478 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.455 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 144, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'movie'?
Suggestion: movie
...increased last year. How can a specific movies positive reviews can decide the quality...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 398, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'produces'?
Suggestion: produces
... Super-Screen produced. If it generally produce action movies and last years movie was ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
...enerally produce action movies and last years movie was not an action, it was a short...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, so, then, thus, in summary, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2417.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 471.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13163481953 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73825791579 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452229299363 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 761.4 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 84.5263015408 57.8364921388 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.086956522 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4782608696 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.39130434783 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.423460774862 0.218282227539 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115577446779 0.0743258471296 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0985476269953 0.0701772020484 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.273191512226 0.128457276422 213% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660936822922 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.