Analytical Writing Assessment Question
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"The population on Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island plans to limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. Last year, the neighboring island of Torseau enforced similar limits on moped rentals and saw a 50 percent reduction in moped accidents. We predict that putting these limits into effect on Balmer Island will result in the same reduction in moped accidents."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of the letter mentions that the town councli of Balmer Island will limit the number of moped rentals from 50 per day to 30 per day for each moped rental company to reduce the number of moped accidents during summer. The author predicts that this initiative will reduce the number of accidents as evident in the case of Torseau Island who implemented such practice. However, there could be alternative explanatoins that would justify the reduction in accidents in Torseau or weaken the author's argument.
Firstly, the author mentions that there was a decrease in moped accidents by 50 percent in Torseau Island. However, the author fails to expound if such decrease was solely due to resticting moped rentals or there are other factors as well. There is a possibility that the population on Torseau Island did not increase as much as it did in the previous years and hence, there were less people using mopeds. This reduction in moped usage must have accounted for the decrease in the moped accidents. If this turns out to be true, then the author's line of reasoning will be significantly weakened.
Secondly, the reduction in moped accidents on Torseau Island may be in part due to implementation of other practices as well. One of them could be the officials in Torseau Island made sure that people were sufficiently trained about using the moped safely before letting them to ride on road. Furthermore, they might have enacted provisional traffic laws inorder to make using moped more comfortable and safe. If the above scenarios have merit, then the author's prediction that moped accidents would decrease on Balmer Islands only by restricting the number of moped rentals will fall flat on its face.
Finally, it seems fatuous to come to a conclusion based on the findings on a different Island without mentioning the similarities and differences between both the islands. It is possible that Torseau Island has broad and smooth roads, and sophisticated traffic management system that supplements restricting moped rentals in decreasing the accidents. However, this may not be the case with Balmer Island. In contrast, Balmer Island roads might be narrow and bumpy with improper traffic management system. If the above differences turns out to be true, then the authors arguement is significantly weakened.
Therefore, the arguemnt, as it stands, is unpersuasive as the author does not provide any information that would contradict any of the alternate explanations mentioned above. One will be in a better position to evaluate the argument if the author can provide details that would help scrutinize the above alterante explanations.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2181 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.049 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.719 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.311 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 497, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...n in accidents in Torseau or weaken the authors argument. Firstly, the author ment...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 381, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...he previous years and hence, there were less people using mopeds. This reduction in ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 455, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...he above scenarios have merit, then the authors prediction that moped accidents would d...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 551, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n Balmer Islands only by restricting the number of moped rentals will fall flat o...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2235.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17361111111 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7732592493 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460648148148 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 695.7 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3799367928 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.631578947 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7368421053 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.26315789474 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222986498258 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775321220468 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0684400405021 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132714701723 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0788693965558 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.