Argue 99: The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children’s books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children’s books are likely to decline. By replacing its children’s books section with a cafe, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The manager of the Monarch Books recommends to open the in-store cafe which replace the children’s books corner to ward off the competition from Book and Bean. This recommendation seems credible initially, but lack of pieces of evidence leads me to question the validity of the recommendation.
First, the manager should suggest the adamant evidence about the opening of the Book and Bean. Since it’s only the intention that the Book and Bean notice, even a month ago, it could be changed any time. Thus, it cannot be ensured whether the Book and Bean open the Collegeville store or not. In addition, cafe is possibly not the only reason for the success of the Book and Bean. There may be other reasons for the success such as a cheap price or an excellent book recommendation service. In this case, additional in-store cafe may not hamper the success of the Book and Bean.
Second, the manager needs to provide more pieces of evidence about the validity of the recommendation that replace the children’s books corner to the in-store cafe. The manager suggested the census data about the population under age ten, but it may not directly indicate the tendency of population of child reader. Even if the population of whole children decreased significantly, the population of the child reader may not decrease substantially. Even if the decrease in sales of children’s books are confirmed, the deletion of the children’s books corner would take a toll on the base of Monarch Books: wide selection of books on all subjects.
Lastly, more credible evidence about the profit of cafe should be suggested. For the replacement, the Monarch Books need additional charge such as the construction fee and the salary for barista. If the additional charge overrides the profit from the cafe, then the cafe is no more a profit for Monarch Books. In addition, the success of the cafe of Book and Bean may depend on other factors such as the place of the store or the neighborhood lived besides the store. In that case, the opening of new in-store cafe in Collegeville possibly be terminated with the failure.
In conclusion, the manager’s claim is unconvincing in many aspects. Thus, the manager needs to provide more pieces of evidence about the opening of the Book and Bean, the abolition of the children’s books corner, and the new construction of the cafe.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 1905 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.786 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.679 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.947 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.476 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...sibly be terminated with the failure. In conclusion, the manager's claim is...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, if, lastly, may, second, so, then, thus, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1995.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 398.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01256281407 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95347029666 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.407035175879 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 629.1 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.8907892681 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.0 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9473684211 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.10526315789 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231102989737 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0846646957925 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0632942513145 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151968379935 0.128457276422 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0384267539624 0.0628817314937 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.